Love Takes Time
by katechoco
Summary: Olivia is pregnant from Dean but he wants nothing to do with the baby or her anymore. Elliot steps in to help her, but things get perplexed when certain feelings come to surface. Is it just friendship, is it just a need, or is it something deeper, a little something called love? Only time will show...
1. Chapter 1

_**This is the first chapter of my newest story, Love Takes Time!**_

_**Olivia is pregnant from Dean but he wants nothing to do with the baby or her anymore. Elliot steps in to help her, but things get perplexed when certain feelings come to surface. Is it just friendship, is it just a need, or is it something deeper, a little something called love?  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order SVU  
**_

Olivia placed the glasses on the table. She smiled as she looked the beautifully made table in front of her. Everything was ready. Dean would be here any minute for them to enjoy a homemade dinner. Olivia cooked rarely but it was a special occasion and she wanted everything to be perfect. She and Dean were together for the last six months and Olivia couldn't be happier. She hadn't felt like this for a guy for a very long time, if ever. And from tonight on, after she would make her little announcement to him, she knew, she just knew that her life would finally fall into place.

There was a knock on the door and Olivia rushed to open. Dean came inside holding a big bouquet of red roses, her favorite.

"Hey gorgeous" he said and kissed her on the lips softly

"Hey. Thanks, they are amazing" she said taking the flowers and placing them on a vase and in the living room.

"What's that smell? You cooked?" Dean took of his coat and followed her back into the kitchen

"Uh huh. No delivery tonight. Come on, sit and tell me what you think"

They spent the next half hour, enjoying the food and wine, talking and laughing. Olivia thought that the evening couldn't go better. Once they had finished dinner, they moved to the living room and sat on the couch.

"Dean… there's something I have to tell you…" Olivia's voice trailed with excitement.

"What baby?"

"I just found out this morning, I mean… I had my suspicions, but I confirmed it today. Dean…" she took a deep breath "I'm pregnant" she said with a wide smile and turned to look at him, expecting him to be smiling too, but she was wrong. He had a confused, almost angry expression

"Pregnant? Are you… are you sure? I mean.. we took protection…"

"Yes, I went to the doctor and confirmed it. And you know that condoms don't protect you 100%. Dean? I thought… I thought you'd be happy…" Olivia's voice couldn't hide her confusion and hurt.

"Olivia" he said in disbelief. " A kid is the last thing I need right now. With my job and everything… I don't even know if I'll ever want to have kids!"

Olivia's heart sank. She couldn't believe what he was telling her.

"Dean…please… don't do this to me" she whispered not being able to look him into the eyes

"Do this to you? I can't… You mean… you mean that you want to keep it?"

Even though tears were streaming down her face, Olivia felt angry

"Of course and I want it! I wanted a kid for so long and I was so happy with you…. "

"Yeah and I am happy with you! Why ruin this? Why ruin what we have? Olivia please… tell me that you'll think about it…"

"Think about what? Abortion? I can't believe you are even suggesting it." She stood up and turned her back to him. Dean rose from the couch too and went to touch her arm

"Baby please…" but she moved away from him

"Don't touch me. I want you to leave. Now" she still wasn't looking at him

"Liv… don't do this…"

"Now Dean."

Olivia remained with her back turned as she heard him exhaling deeply and finally making his way out of her apartment without another word. When she heard the click the door made closing behind him she silently went to the table were the vase with the roses stood and threw it down. The vase broke into a hundred pieces and the roses spread on the carpet.

She leaned on the wall looking at them. She let her body slip down, her silent tears turning into violent sobs.

The next day she showed for work late. She had stayed up half the night crying and the other half she had fell into an uneasy sleep full of nightmares. On top of all, the moment she woke up, a nauseous feeling had made her run to the bathroom were she had spent the next ten minutes throwing up.

"Well somebody woke on the wrong side of the bed today" Elliot said as she sat on her chair and threw her bag onto the desk.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?" he continued when she didn't respond to his joke.

"Nothing. I just woke up with a headache" she lied

She couldn't bring herself on telling him what happened, because even she, didn't know if it was for real. This time yesterday, she was full of excitement, she had just confirmed her pregnancy and she was planning her perfect night with Dean. And now… What on earth was she going to do? God knows how much she wanted this baby, but could she do this on her own, especially knowing that Dean didn't want anything to do with it?

A couple of hours passed and Olivia's phone had buzzed over ten times, each call from Dean. But she didn't answer it, not once, she just couldn't talk to him right now. Elliot had noticed that and didn't say anything, but when after the tenth phone call Olivia stashed her phone deep inside her bag, he couldn't help himself

"Liv, everything alright with Dean?"

She looked at him, his blue eyes were filled with concern. For a moment she considered spitting it all out, but decided against it. What if… she thought, Dean had reconsidered things and wanted to apologize? She had to be sure about his intentions before she was going to say anything to anybody, even Elliot. So she just forced a smile and replied to him.

"Nothing that cannot be fixed"

He didn't look persuaded but dropped the issue. He knew that when she wanted to talk he would be there for her.

While she was leaving the precinct, she checked her phone again. There were another four missed calls and a text message. Olivia opened it

"We need to talk. I'll come by your place at 8 pm. Dean"

She sighed. She thought that she shouldn't get her hopes up, but there was chance that Dean had changed his mind.

Around 8 o' clock Olivia was sitting on the couch nervously, flipping around the channels. When she heard a knock on the door, she quickly turned off the TV and rushed to open. Dean was standing on the door side with a slightly angry look on his face. When he went inside he didn't wait to sit down, he jumped straight to the point

"I was trying to call you all day, we needed to talk Olivia"

"Well you are here now, so talk"

"What we have is great Olivia, it really is, but as I told you before, I am not ready to become a father, but I don't want to lose you and I know that you feel the same way about me. So please, do us both a favor and go have an abortion so that we can pick it from where we left it."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. She felt anger rising inside of her

"Do us both a favor? Why would you think that I would do a favor to myself with aborting the baby? I want this baby Dean!" she yelled

" Olivia… please. You think you can do this by yourself?" he said in disbelief.

"You're damn sure I can! I don't need a selfish bastard who only thinks about having fun! So just to make some things clear here, I am keeping this baby and if you walk out from this door right now, you should know that you will not even lay eyes on your child ever again!" She shouted and to mark her words she went and busted the door wide open. Dean stared at her for some moment but Olivia didn't move

"I see that you have made up your mind. Well, I'm sorry that it has to end this way" he said and left.

Olivia slammed the door behind him. Tears started running down her face. She felt so disappointed and betrayed. She couldn't believe how cold he was about it, how he didn't hesitate to leave when she opened the door. She had been so wrong about him and it was killing her. After a while of pacing up and down the apartment she decided that she needed some fresh air.

Even though it was the middle of June, it was a cool night. Olivia walked through the busy streets of Manhattan, trying to let the wind that was blowing clear her thoughts. But it was almost impossible. Dean's cold words felt like they were permanently hacked to her mind, but most importantly, her heart. Before she knew it, she had stopped in the middle of the street crying. She leaned against a wall, trying to control her tears, but they were unstoppable. After some moments, she started having trouble breathing. She tried inhaling and exhaling trough her mouth but it was no help. And like things weren't already bad enough, suddenly a sharp pain on her abdomen made her yelp in pain. She panicked. She was alone, in the middle of the street at night and in no condition to move by herself.

"Help" she tried to say but it came out as a whisper. Another sharp pain crossed her abdomen. She gasped and placed both hands in her stomach.

"No…" she moaned.

"Miss? Are you ok?" Olivia heard a voice behind her. She turned her head and saw a young man looking at her concerned.

"Please…I have to go to a hospital…My baby…" she managed to say with all the effort she had left. Suddenly everything started going black and her legs went limp so she grabbed the man by the arm.

"I'm calling 911 right away, stay with me please miss" he said but Olivia found it harder and harder to stay conscious, she felt dizzier every second. When another pain shoot her, she gasped and collapsed into the man's hands.

**_What do you think? Please take some time and leave a review, it really means a lot!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews, the follows etc... It means a lot and they really make my day:)**_

_**So here's the next chapter!  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order SVU  
**_

Olivia's eyes flickered as she drifted them open. It took her a minute to realize that she was lying in a hospital bed. A nurse was standing above her. Suddenly she remembered, what happened, the dizziness, the pain and she panicked

"My baby?" was the first thing that came out from her mouth.

The nurse smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry the baby is fine, everything seems normal"

Olivia let out a relieved sigh.

"Can you please tell me your name? We didn't find any ID when they brought you in" the nurse continued and Olivia nodded.

"It's Olivia Benson. I just… I was out for a walk when this…happened, I didn't have anything on me.." she said slightly disoriented

"Ok Olivia is there anyone you want us to call? A family member, a husband?" she asked and Olivia felt a sting on her chest.

"No… um…. There's no husband and no family member, it's ok." She said

The nurse looked at her sympathetically.

"Are you sure? No boyfriend? A friend maybe?" when Olivia shook her head negatively, the nurse placed her hand on her arm.

"Are you alone on this honey? The father's not on the scene?" she asked softly.

"No he isn't…" she felt tears welling up as she remembered Dean's cold gaze when he closed the door behind him " Are you sure the baby's fine?" she asked trying to push the image of Dean away. He might as well go to hell she thought. All she had to worry about now, was her unborn child.

"Yes we run some tests and everything seemed normal, a doctor's coming any minute to do an ultrasound, just to be a hundred per cent sure. Until then, you should rest and if you need anything page me, ok honey?" Olivia smiled gently and nodded as the nurse left her room

After some minutes a doctor came in, along with an ultrasound machine.

"Hello Ms Benson, I am doctor Mathews. We are going to do an ultrasound to make sure that everything is ok with your baby. Now have you done this before?" he said as he was settling the machine beside Olivia's bed

"No, I found out just yesterday that I am pregnant" she answered

"Ok so this might feel a little cold…" he said as he spread a gel on Olivia's flat stomach and turned on the screen

For the first time this evening, Olivia's heart peered with excitement and joy. She was going to see her baby for the first time…

"Well it's a little early but you see this, which is seems like a bean? This is your baby" The doctor smiled as Olivia stared at the screen with a wide smile.

She didn't say anything, she just absorbed every second of it, her mind flowing away for a bit from the sadness of the past two days.

"Everything seems perfect" he said as he turned the screen off.

"But then what caused the pain?" Olivia asked as she was whipping the gel away.

"Have you been under any stress lately?"

Olivia nodded with a sad look, knowing that the last two days had been nothing but stressful.

"I recommend you to stay away from it as much as you can. That's probably what caused it. Even though everything is good I'd like to keep you overnight for observation and tomorrow I'll recommend bed rest"

Olivia groaned but didn't say a thing. She may hated hospitals or staying in bed but she would do anything to keep her baby safe

"Now is there anyone who can stay with you tomorrow?" the doctor asked.

"No but it's fine, I'll handle this myself" she tried to smile reassuringly but the doctor still seemed concerned.

"Are you sure? What about the baby's father?"

Olivia's heart sank for the second time the last hour when the father was brought up again but this time she didn't leave it take over her.

"He is not on the scene, but seriously doctor there's no need to worry. I can take care of myself" she said with determination.

"Ok I'll take your word for it Ms Benson. But if anything happens, don't hesitate to call me, here's my number" he said and slipped a card on Olivia's hand who smiled.

"Sure thanks"

"Now I'll let you rest" he said and left the room.

Olivia sank deeper in her pillow. She was feeling fine now but she couldn't help remembering how scared she was before, when she was alone on the street and in pain.

_But everything turned out fine_ she tried to convince herself

_Yeah now, but what if that happens again? How can you be so sure that everything will turn out 'fine' again?_

Olivia shook her head. She couldn't afford to think like that at the moment. She could do this, she would pull through it, she was determined to do so for her baby's shake. Even though she knew about it for so little, she already loved him or her so much.

"We can do this, kid" she mumbled placing a hand in her abdomen. After a while, she drifted to sleep, but not before her mind travelled to Elliot and wondering what his reaction would be on the news.

The next morning, Olivia was released and after promising again to the doctor that she would stay on bed all day, she took a cab and went straight home. Fortunately, on the pocket of her jeans she had found enough money to pay for it.

The moment she went inside her apartment she reached for her phone to call the captain and let him know that she wouldn't be coming today.

"Hey Cap it's me Olivia. Listen, I have a fever and a stomach ache so I am taking the day off, I don't want anyone catching what I have. Yeah ok, thanks, see you tomorrow."

She hung up and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. After that she gathered a pile of magazines and books and brought them over to her bed as she laid down, knowing that it would be a long, boring day.

Around six p.m the buzzer went off. Olivia jumped. She had drifted off while reading a magazine. She got out of bed and went to see who it was.

"Yeah?" she said in a sleepy voice

"Liv it's me Elliot. I brought you some dinner"

Olivia smiled and buzzed Elliot inside the building. A minute later he came into her apartment carrying two paper bags.

"Hey Liv, how are you doing? Captain told me and I thought that you wouldn't even bother to get yourself some decent food so I brought you some soup" he said nodding at one of the paper bags

"Thanks a lot, you're right, I think my fridge is totally empty at the moment. What's on the other bag?"

"My dinner. See, I am not sick and I was really hungry too" He said and opened the second bag, revealing two containers of Chinese food. Once the smell hit Olivia's nose, a wave of nausea filled her. She immediately covered her mouth and run off to the bathroom.

Elliot followed her and stood on the doorside as Olivia was throwing up. When she was done, she leaned on the sink with an exhausted look. Elliot went inside, and handed her a towel.

"Cragen wasn't joking about the stomach ache. Feeling any better?" he asked rubbing her back

"Yeah, I just couldn't even stand the smell of this thing"

"Wow, you must be really sick, sesame noodles are your favorite"

Olivia made a face.

"Ugh I cannot even hear their name at the moment"

"Way to go Liv, you act as if you are pregnant" Elliot said chuckling but then he took one look at Olivia's face and he stopped laughing immediately.

"Wait… you aren't pregnant, are you?" he said looking startled, but Olivia stayed silent.

"Oh God, you are"

She sighed "Yes, Elliot, yes. I am pregnant"

Elliot smiled again a bit startled but he pulled her into a hug.

"Liv, congratulations, I am very happy for you. You are going to be a great mom."

"Thank you El" she said as she pulled away from him.

"So did you say Dean the good news?" Elliot asked as they made their way back to the kitchen.

"Actually…I did." She said as they sat on the kitchen table. Elliot made sure that the bag with Chinese was as far from Olivia as it could be.

"It didn't go well" Olivia continued cautiously. Elliot frowned immediately hearing her words.

"What do you mean by that?"

Olivia took a deep breath and told Elliot everything that happened the last two days, from the moment she announced her pregnancy to Dean, to the moment she woke up at the hospital after collapsing in the middle of the street. She knew there was no reason on lying around about it, especially to Elliot, since it was Dean, her boyfriend of six months, and not just a gut she picked from a bar, and eventually there would be questions about why he isn't around.

The more she talked, the more Elliot's expression darkened. When she was almost over, in his face you could only see pure anger.

"And the doctor ordered me in bed rest for today. That's why I called Cragen and told him about having the flu. I had to find an excuse…"

Elliot stood silent for some seconds.

"That son of a bitch…" he growled after raising from his chair. "I'm going to find this bastard and…"

"Elliot no, you are not going to do anything, it isn't worth it." Olivia had risen too. She placed a hand in his arm and looked him sternly.

"How could he do that to you Liv? He is such an asshole!"

"I know El, but I have made my decisions. I'll raise my baby on my own and Dean can go to hell" It was Elliot's turn to put a hand on her arm.

"You are not alone on that Liv. I'm here for you" he said and pulled her into another hug. They stood like that for some time. Olivia buried her head into his chest as Elliot was stroking gently her soft chocolate hair.

"Thanks El, that means a lot"

"Ok let's get you lying down on the couch, and we can have dinner there."

Olivia groaned.

"I know that it's the doctor's orders but it's freaking boring" she said.

Once she laid down, Elliot brought over the paper bags and dishes.

"Now is it safe to open the sesame noodles or you're going to rush again to the bathroom the second I'll do it?" Elliot asked carefully.

Olivia grinned.

"You know what, sesame noodles sound great for dinner right now" she said teasingly and grabbed the bag from Elliot's hands. He looked at her confused.

"Never mess with pregnant women Stabler, they always win" she said as she pulled out of the bag the box with the noodles. They both burst out laughing and went on with their dinner.

_**Review and tell me what you think! Some drama is on the way, with a blast from the past for Olivia that leaves her with doubts! And some feelings are about to come and shake the waters a bit... So review, review, review!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3 is up! I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing, following, favoring the story! It means the world to me!**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned them, Elliot would be back for season 14 and there would be a whole episode dedicated to him and Liv, with some very very hot scenes! But no.**_

The next days flew by quietly. Olivia had returned to work but still hadn't told anyone except for Elliot about being pregnant. Elliot knew that she would do it on her own time and she was still upset over how Dean had dumped her, even though she wouldn't admit it herself.

Olivia knew that she couldn't keep it from the others any longer, but telling them about the pregnancy meant that she would have to tell them about Dean as well and she wasn't sure she wanted to do that yet. Even though she truly was determined to do her best for her kid, she wasn't ready to face the pity in their eyes once they found out.

It was after two pm when Olivia pulled up from her chair. Elliot raised his head from his paperwork.

"Where are you heading to?" he asked quizzically.

Olivia looked around to make sure that no one was there. Then she leaned over Elliot's desk.

"Doctor's appointment. It's the first official" she said not being able to hold back a smile.

"Ok, good luck" Elliot grinned.

"I'll be back in two hours" she said and rushed out of the precinct.

Once she arrived at the OB's office, she sat on a chair on the waiting room, waiting for her turn, glancing around nervously. When her name was called she sat up exhaling deeply. Three quarters later, she exited the doctor's examination room with a wide smile plastered on her face. Everything went smoothly, she had a chance to see her baby-bean again, that's what she called it jokingly and the doctor even gave her pictures of the sonogram to keep.

She had pulled them out and was staring at them admirably as she was stepping out from the doctor's office, when she accidentally bumped into a woman who was entering at the same time. The sonogram pictures fell from her hands and on the floor.

"Oh I'm so sorry" Olivia said and leaned to take them but the other woman was faster. She picked them up and she was ready to give them back to Olivia when she stopped and her eyes grew wide with surprise.

"Olivia Benson? Oh my gosh!"

Olivia stared at the woman trying to remember from where the hell she knew her. When the woman saw the question to Olivia's eyes she went on.

"It's Helena, Helena Jenkins. We were on high school together?"

"Ohh yeah! Wow it's been so long, how are you Helena?" Olivia said when she finally remembered her, and also remembered how much she didn't like her back then.

Helena chuckled.

"Oh you know, everything is so good! I got married two years ago, I have a great job in a great advertising company… And what about you? Those here tell me that you are not here for only a checkup" she said with an airy laugh pointing at the sonogram pictures she still had in her hands.

Olivia knew that she couldn't lie to her.

"Oh well, yes, I am pregnant" she said trying to force a smile

"Oh no you're not going to get away so easy! Spill! Who's the lucky guy? How long have you been married?" Helena said her expression almost greedy. Olivia remembered how she had been the big mouth of the school, she was the first one to learn every gossip that was going around back then. She really didn't feel comfortable having this discussion with her, but it was not high school anymore and she couldn't care less about what Helena Jenkins will think. Or so she thought.

"I am not married. The father's actually not on the scene. I am doing this on my own." She smiled and placed a hand in her abdomen. Helena looked startled for a second, but she regained her over-friendly look in no time.

"Oh that's great Olivia, good for you really" she said wearing a big smile but Olivia could see through the fakeness of it. " Yeah I mean…it would be tough, with work and everything…what are you doing for a living?"

"Um, I work sex crimes at NYPD" Olivia said carefully not liking where this conversation was heading.

Helena raised her eyebrows.

"Oh Gosh what a difficult job for a woman and especially a mother… All those long hours, you'll be really lucky to see your kid two or three hours at night! My husband and I were planning that I would quit my job when I'll get pregnant, I think it's the best for a kid, having its mother there full time, but oh well, you have no other choice than to keep working, otherwise in what income are you going to support your child, right Olivia?" Helena was looking at Olivia with a sweet, almost innocent smile. Olivia felt rage bottling inside of her.

"Well" she said trying to keep her voice steady "I think I'll manage, but thank you for your concern. But I should not delay you from your appointment any longer, let me just take the pictures " Olivia pulled as gently as she could the sonogram pictures from Helena's hand.

"It was nice seeing you" Olivia continued with a slight sarcastic manner. Helena kept the fake smile plastered in her face.

"Oh, the pleasure was all mine, Olivia. I hope I'll see you soon" she said as Olivia made her way outside and when she was out of earshot, she let out a snort.

The moment she arrived back at the precinct, she dropped her coat and bag at her desk and headed to the only place she wanted to be right now: the roof, hating that she had to do a non so discreet exit but she couldn't control her feelings any longer.

Elliot, Fin and Munch had all witnessed the scene and Fin shot a confused look on Elliot. Elliot just shrugged, but on the inside, he was really worried for her. He decided to give her some minutes of her own and then he joined her on the roof.

Olivia was standing there, gazing over the busy streets of Manhattan, her hands wrapped protectively around her body. Elliot approached her and stood behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Olivia didn't react. He stood right next to her. He took one look at her face. Tears were glistering down her cheeks.

"Liv, what's wrong? Everything ok with the baby?" He asked softly. Olivia whipped away some of her tears

"The baby is fine."

"Then what's wrong Liv? Talk to me." Olivia turned to face him. Her chocolate eyes were filled with fear and pain

"What if I can't do this?" she blurted out "What if… I won't be a good mom? I mean… I'll have to work, work long hours, and it can't be done differently because I won't have any other means to support my kid… I always imagined that when I would finally have a kid, I would be with someone that I'd love and he'd love me back and support me, and I thought that with Dean it was gonna be this way, but I was wrong and now, here I am, pregnant and alone. I already love this little life inside me so much but for the moment, that's all I have to give and, what if it's not enough?"

Olivia had let out all her thoughts and fears that were haunting her the past days and they had come and made their presence very visible after her little chat with Helena. Elliot stared at her for a second, without speaking a bit stunned by the fact that she had confessed her fears to him so easily, thinking that she would probably felt very vulnerable at the moment so as to let her guard down like this.

"Liv don't think like that… I promise that I would be there for you" Elliot said placing again his hand on her arm.

"Thanks El, but you have a family too, you simply can't ditch them for me and a child that it's not even yours" Olivia said shaking her head and with those words she left the roof and then the precinct and headed home.

Elliot stayed up on the roof a little longer. When he returned back on the squad, Fin and Munch were on his face immediately.

"What the hell is wrong with Liv?" Munch asked.

"Yeah seriously man, she just rushed out of here without a word" Fin added.

"I'll tell you what's going on, but first I want Casey and Alex to come down here too" Elliot said with a determined look. He knew Olivia would hate him but it was worth a try, he thought.

Olivia slammed the door of her apartment behind her. She had only dropped her things onto the kitchen counter and poured herself a glass of water when her cell rang. She groaned when she saw Cragen's name flashing on the screen, knowing she couldn't ignore it.

"Hello? Yeah ok Captain I'm on my way…" she said and hung up. Cursing under her breath she picked up her stuff again and headed for the door, wondering what could be so important that Cragen wanted her immediately back at the precinct.

When she arrived, the squad room was empty but Cragen opened his door and signaled her to come over. The moment Olivia entered the office, she froze. Cragen, Elliot, Fin, Munch, Casey and Alex were all standing in there looking at her.

"What on earth is going on here?" she asked confused. Cragen was the first one to speak.

"Olivia, Elliot told us everything. He told us about the pregnancy, about Dean about what happened the other day on the street… everything"

Olivia turned to look at Elliot. He had a very serious expression on his face.

"What the fuck Elliot? You had no right, going like that behind my back" she hissed at him angrily.

"I'm sorry Liv, but I had to do this, I had to let everyone know, so as to let you understand…"

"Understand what El?" Olivia hissed again, getting seriously pissed.

"That you are not alone Liv." It was Casey who had spoken from the corner of the room where she was standing beside Alex who nodded briefly.

"Yes, Elliot told us and we all wanted to let you know that we are going to be here for you. We are your friends and we'll stand right by you"

"I really don't need anyone's pity" Olivia said frustrated.

"Pity? Who talked about pity Liv? We are really happy for you" It was Fin who had spoken.

"Yes, we are! It is really wonderful Liv, why would we pity you?" Casey asked.

Olivia shrugged, feeling tears on her eyes.

"Well, the whole thing with Dean… I guess I pity myself a little" she said letting out a small laugh. Cragen moved towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Olivia, listen to me, you are going to be a great mother, your kid will be lucky to have a mother like you" he said. Olivia didn't talk, she was so startled by his move and his words. She really hoped that she was going to be a good mom, but hearing it from someone else, especially Cragen, it made her heart filled with warmness.

"And Olivia, I've told you before and take my word for it, all you have to do is love your kid." Elliot said and looked at her with his piercing blue eyes and when Olivia took one good look at them, suddenly all her fears disappeared and gave their place to hope and happiness. She gave a warm smile to everyone.

"Thank you guys, I really appreciate that…" Olivia said her previous anger fading away.

Everyone was leaving, when Elliot walked to Olivia.

"Care for a lift?" He asked with a big grin.

"Sounds nice" She replied grinning too.

When they pulled in front of her building, Olivia turned to look at Elliot.

"Wanna come up to keep me some more company?"

"Sure" Elliot agreed. The only thing that was waiting for him back home was the remote and an empty bed.

Once they were inside the apartment, Olivia went straight and sat on the couch with a relieved sigh, it was really a long day. Elliot joined her. After from some minutes in silence, Olivia spoke.

"What you did tonight… thank you. Really. Even though it was a bit unorthodox and pissed me off at the begining, it kind of worked Stabler " she said half smirking- half smiling. He laughed

"Liv there's no need to thank me. When I saw you like that on the roof, I knew that you needed to be reminded that they are people who care about you. I knew that you would never give up on your baby, you just needed a bust on your confidence…that's all" he said smiling.

"And it worked…"

"Yeah and never question your abilities again. You're going to be a great mother period." There was seriousness in Elliot's voice that made Olivia laugh.

"You really take the 'partners for better or worse' very serious." She said grinning.

"And that's the 'better' part Liv, you know that" he took her hand into his. Olivia raised her head and stared at him for a few seconds with a soft smile.

"Well it's getting late, I better get going" Elliot cracked the silence and Olivia automatically pulled her hand away

"Yes. See you tomorrow El" She walked him to the door.

"Good night Liv"

"Good night El"

Liv's door closed behind him and Elliot let out a deep sigh before walking away.

When he was back at his place, he laid on his bed and started flipping through the channels but without really paying any attention to what was on. There was one thing, better, a person, who was dominating his thoughts, not only tonight but every night since the day he found out she was pregnant: Olivia.

He remembered feeling kind of numb when Olivia told him the news, and he couldn't understand why. He should be happy about her, didn't he? Olivia's biggest wish had been at last fulfilled, he was her best friend, he should be able to feel happy for it. But something was holding him back, and he couldn't figure out what was it, or more likely, he was too afraid to admit it, even to his own self. Because if he did, then it would most probably destroy what he and Olivia had and he couldn't bare that. But for how much longer would he be able to keep everything inside?

_**I hope you liked it...! Leave a review and tell me what you think!**_

_**Well that's not the only time that we will see Helena Jenkins... What will happen to her next encounter with Liv? And will Elliot confess to Olivia? The only thing I will say is that they're on for a long ride! :)  
**_

_**Until the next time... review review review!  
**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Here comes chapter 4! Thanks everyone for your support, it's truly amazing!**  
_

_**Disclaimer: Don't even get me started about what would happen in each and every episode of season 14 where Elliot would obviously be back and into Liv's arms if I owned them. But no, no such thing.  
**_

_Two months later_

Olivia returned to the squad room from the bathroom groaning. It was the fifth time this day she had rushed there.

"Morning sickness my ass" she muttered. She was frustrated and couldn't wait for the first trimester of her pregnancy to finish so she could stop being sick, not only the morning, but all day long.

Elliot came and sat across her and watched her as she was rubbing her forehead in an attempt to make the dizziness go away.

"Again?" he asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, oh God, I can't wait for this trimester to finally be over" she groaned.

"You know Liv, I don't mean to scare you, but for some women sickness and nausea actually lasts throughout all the pregnancy… Well you don't know that this is actually the case here, but I'm telling you so as to be prepared" he added quickly when he noticed Olivia's horrified look.

"You know Elliot, if you're trying to win yourself a bullet on the brain, just say it"

"I just wanted to let you know so as… Ok, ok, I'm going to stop now" he said as Olivia was giving him the evil eye.

She kept shooting him with evil glares as she was going through her mail. After a while of tossing them into a pile, she stopped in a particular one and opened it. She read it quickly and tossed it on the side with the rest letting out a deep sigh. Elliot looked up from his paperwork.

"Everything ok?" he asked

"Well it looks like I'm invited to a reunion of my high school class"

"That's sounds good. You don't like it?"

"I'm not sure. But it could be fun" she shrugged.

"Yes, seeing everyone after all this time…"

"It won't be that long for a particular someone" she muttered. Elliot looked at her confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You see, I run into one of my schoolmates, two months ago on the OB's office" she said and sighed. After a while, she had told him everything about her meeting with Helena Jenkins

"No wonder you had been a mess that day. The woman was such a bitch"

"Yes El but I should have known better and not let her get into my head"

"You know now and it's ok Liv. Don't tell me you won't go because of her"

"Of course not! But you know, with being so nauseous all the time, I'm not sure…" she stopped and a small grin was drawn to her face.

"El?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to be my plus one?"

"Your what?"

"We are allowed to bring one more person with us. Our plus ones."

"You want me to come with you?" he said in disbelief.

"You said it yourself. It would be fun. Plus I need someone to help me if I get too dizzy. Oh and you owe me for scaring me with that constant nausea-throwing up thing." She added with a devilish smile.

"Is that so?"

"Oh yes it is"

"Fine I'll come" he said and couldn't help but smile himself.

A week later, Olivia and Elliot were making their way into the reception hall where the reunion was held. They started wandering around and Olivia was giving Elliot the heads up about her schoolmates. After a while of greeting and catching up with some of her old friends, Olivia spotted into a corner Helena Jenkins with some other of her old schoolmates. She tried to avoid eye contact but Helena had already seen her and had signaled her to come over. Olivia groaned slightly and Elliot noticed it.

"Is that the woman you were talking about? The one in the doctor's office?"

"Yeah, and the rest is her old gang. God they had the biggest mouths in the whole high school" She said with a low voice as they were approaching them.

"Olivia, it's so good to see you again! Who would have thought that we would meet again in such a short notice?" Helena said wearing that big fake smile that made Olivia's stomach turn.

"Yeah really, how are you all?" she said turning to greet the two other women who were standing there and both had equally fake smiles on their faces.

"Oh we are all good Olivia. Aren't you going to introduce us to your escort?" one of them said battering her eyelashes on the direction of Elliot.

"Oh yes, this is Elliot Stabler, my best friend and partner. Elliot this is Helena Jenkins, Monique Evans and Cassandra Bails" Olivia said surprising herself with how well she remembered the names.

"Nice to meet you ladies" Elliot said with a polite smile.

"Best friend? What about a boyfriend or a husband?" Monique asked with a teasing smile.

"Come on Monique, Helena told us how difficult Olivia's job is… there must be really very limited time for relationships" Cassandra said smiling but with a voice filled with poison.

But Olivia totally ignored the tone and went on to answer

"You are right girls, the hours in the job can be an obstacle sometimes but now I'm really focusing on my baby" she said placing a hand on her baby bump which had just started becoming visible. Both women gasped and Helena turned a little pale.

"What? Are you pregnant?" Monique asked.

"But you said you aren't married." Cassandra added.

"Wait, Helena didn't tell you?" Olivia asked slightly confused and turned to look at Helena who gulped down a big amount of her champagne.

"Helena knew?" they both glared at her direction but before Helena had a chance to defend herself, Olivia spoke.

"I bumped into Helena, two months ago, to the OB's office. I had gone there for a sonogram and Helena saw the pictures. I also told her that I 'm doing this alone, the father's not on the picture" she said.

"Wow Olivia… congratulations! It's really good, what you're doing" Monique said smiling and for once it wasn't a fake smile.

"Yeah, I mean, it's really brave, what you're doing. I don't think I could ever do that" Cassandra said, her fake smiled had gone too. Now they were both looking at Olivia, with some kind of admiration. Helena on the other hand, just stood silent and kept gulping down large amounts of champagne. Elliot was silent too, but he was watching the whole encounter with amusement.

"Thank you girls" Olivia said grinning. Monique turned her attention to Helena.

"Why didn't you tell us Helena?"

Helena opened her mouth to answer but at this moment a man came to her side.

"Oh honey here you are. This is my husband, Michael Grint. Michael, this is Olivia Benson, an old classmate and her friend Elliot Stabler" she introduced him sounding relieved that she had just escaped the awkward question. Michael Grint nodded politely at the direction of Elliot and Olivia

"Nice to meet you. How are you sweetheart?" He said kissing Helena's forehead who chuckled.

"Well Olivia here was telling us how she is going to be a single mother and I was about to tell the girls how happy and blessed I feel that when we're going to have a baby, you're going to be there to support me and that I'll be home to raise our kid. I mean no offence Olivia, but I really think that a kid needs both parents. Not that I don't too think that what you're doing is a very brave thing" she said. Her phony smile was now back, and she was totally on bitch mode, Olivia thought. But before she was able to answer, she heard Elliot speaking.

"I could say that there are good arguments on both sides, but as father of five wonderful kids and also divorced, I feel obliged to say that all that matters is the love that you show to your kid and raising it to be a good person and those things can be achieved wonderfully by only one person" he said calmly.

Olivia felt so grateful for Elliot at the moment. Helena just stood there smiling coldly. Monique and Cassandra were watching intently the encounter. Helena's husband was not even paying attention, he was talking to his cellphone.

"Well Elliot, couldn't be more right. I already love my baby so much and honestly, I couldn't have it any other way" Olivia said smiling and Monique and Cassandra smiled too. Helena just shrugged.

"And now if you'll excuse us, I just spotted Jimmy Felps and I haven't seen him for ages. It was nice seeing you all again" she said and walked away with Elliot following her closely.

After talking to Jimmy Felps for a while, Elliot excused himself and headed for the restroom. When he was about to exit the toilet, he heard two men coming inside, chatting loudly. He recognized one of the voices as Michael Grint's Helena's husband.

"Did you see that classmate of Helena, Olivia I think was her name." Grint asked.

Elliot froze on the spot and didn't move from where he stood inside the toilet stool.

"The tall, brunette, tanned skin? Man, who didn't? Those legs, oh God…" the other man groaned.

"The legs only? The boobs, the ass, man, her ass… I would love to bend her over and fuck her brains out, grabbing that perfect ass of hers" Grint continued.

"Yeah, I would happily take her right here on the counter… In fact I might go ask her…" the other man said and Grint chuckled "What?" he went on "It's not like I have a secretary like you, to do her, whenever I feel like it"

"And she is so fucking good, but I'm guessing nothing compared to this Olivia" Grint said. They both laughed again and exited the restroom.

Elliot opened the door of the toilet, trembling with anger. Those bastards, he wanted nothing more than to kick the shit out of them. On the other hand, it would be equally good to see them both being turned down by Liv.

When he returned to the hall, he found Olivia sitting down on a chair at a corner, alone.

"Hey Liv, everything ok?" he asked. She looked kind of zoned.

"Not really. I feel very wore out and kind off dizzy. I think it's time to go" she said and tried to stood up but quickly sat back down and closed her eyes.

"Liv?" Elliot asked a bit worried

"El, can you please help me up? I really feel very dizzy and I don't want to pass out in front of my entire high school class"

"Of course, here, take my hand" he gently helped her on her feet and put a hand around her waist. They made like that their way out of the reception hall.

Once they were inside Elliot's car, Olivia leaned her head on the window and closed her eyes.

"Well that was… good" she said. Elliot chuckled softly.

"You can say that"

"Thank you for the things you said to Helena. I appreciate it"

"Liv, of course. I truly meant them"

"We get it, she has the perfect life, the perfect husband, but not everyone is like that"

"Well, maybe her life is not as perfect as you think" Elliot said. Olivia opened her eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked curiously.

"Well, let's just say, that I heard her husband talking briefly about his sex life… with his secretary"

Olivia stared at him for a moment and then let out a small laugh.

"I can't say I'm surprised. I could tell he is a jerk from the moment I saw him"

"See Liv, there is no such a thing as a perfect life. I am a hundred per cent sure, that you're going to give your baby much more love, than they could ever imagine it's possible."

Olivia placed one hand at his shoulder and rubbed it.

"Thanks El" she said softly. Then she leaned again on the window and closed her eyes again.

After some minutes of driving in silence and after some time of fighting with himself, Elliot spoke.

"He thought you were hot, Helena's husband"

Olivia stirred and turned to look at him.

"He didn't use those exact same words, he said it in a way that made me wanna castrate him really, but that was what he meant" Elliot went on with a small grin.

"Do I have to feel flattered?" she said in a sarcastic tone.

"Well, he just stated the obvious"

Olivia laughed.

"Gee Stabler, way to flirt with a woman"

"Who said I'm flirting?" They turn to look at each other and laughed, but Elliot felt a little twinkle in his heart which tried to ignore it.

They pulled in front of Olivia's building. Olivia opened her door and Elliot did the same

"El, there's no need to."

"Not an hour ago, you were ready to pass out Liv"

"Yes but I feel way better now. It's fine really. I'm going to take the elevator anyway."

Elliot knew that she hated feeling that she needed to be looked after so he backed down.

"You're going to flash your lights, once you're up. If you don't do it in five minutes, I'm coming up" he warned her and Olivia laughed.

"Always" she said with a teasy grin.

"Goodnight Liv"

"Goodnight El. And…thank you for coming"

"Anytime Liv"

She gave him one last smile before disappearing behind the door of her building.

Elliot waited for a bit, and when he saw the lights flashing from her apartment, he sighed.

"Anytime Liv, anytime" he mumbled again.

_**Will Elliot pull his act together and talk to Liv? Stick around to find out!**_

_**Also I would really like to know if you have anything you'd like to see, so review and tell me what you think!  
**_

_**So until the next chapter... Review review review! :))  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5 is here!**_

_**Disclaimer: Liv would probably be married to Elliot and they would have lots of EO babies till now, and Elliot of course wouldn't have left, IF I owned them. But I don't. So no.**_

Olivia woke up that morning feeling exhausted, even though she had slept straight for eight hours. Not a minute passed since she was awake, when she felt her stomach churning and a wave of nausea took over her body. She jumped off the bed and run to the bathroom, where she spent the next ten minutes throwing up. When she was done, she leaned over to the wall and close her eyes. Everything was spinning. She tried very hard to focus and stand up, but when she did so, she collapsed almost immediately over the toilet and threw up for another five minutes.

Feeling completely wore out, she slowly made her way back to her bed, where she was planning to spend the rest of the day if she kept feeling so sick. She wasn't any good to anyone going like that to the precinct. After calling Cragen and notifying him, she fell back to the pillows and slept for another three hours

When she opened her eyes again, she felt a lot less tired and so she decided to get out of bed and try to eat something. But the moment she took a bite of some toast covered with butter, she run again for the bathroom. After throwing up, she decided that food wasn't an option, at least not for the time being. So she made a cup of tea and jumped again on the bed, feeling miserable.

When noon came around, Olivia realized that several hours had passed since the last time she paid a visit to the bathroom to throw up and that she was feeling a lot better

"What do you think, will you let mommy eat something? You know you need it too" she mumbled caressing her baby bump.

The day was sunny and so Olivia decided that a walk outside, would be a good thing. She needed to stretch a little, after all this hours of lying down

After taking a sandwich in hand from her favorite deli shop, she wandered around the neighborhood. She was walking slowly, enjoying the sun and the fact that she was finally able to keep something down her stomach, when she spotted a familiar figure. A very familiar figure.

Dean Porter was making his way out of a restaurant, his arms around the shoulders of a woman. They stopped and kissed tenderly on the lips. After breaking the kiss, Dean caressed with affection the woman's cheek and they walked away with their heads resting on each other's shoulders.

It took several minutes for Olivia to realize, that she hadn't move a bit since the moment she saw them walking out of the restaurant. Then, almost automatically, she turned around and walked to the opposite direction.

Back to her apartment, she emptied the contents of her stomach once more. After she was done, she slowly made her way to the couch, where she sat down and stared at the wall in front of her. Without realizing it, tears had started falling down to her cheeks, tears that quickly turned into sobs. She just stood there, crying for almost over an hour. She wasn't sure exactly why she was crying, whether it was because he had moved forward so easily, forgetting everything about her and the baby or maybe because, she had still feelings about him.

She whipped away the tears from her face, trying to calm down. She curled on the couch and laid there with her eyes wide open for some time. It was dark outside now but Olivia didn't bother to turn on any lights. Darkness somehow was comforting her.

Suddenly the buzzer went off. Olivia unwillingly made her way towards it and saw Elliot on the small screen. She buzzed him in and opened her door. Then she went back to the couch where she curled to her side once again.

"Liv?"

Elliot was inside her apartment looking around for her. When he spotted her on the couch, he went over there and leaned to her side

"Everything ok?" he asked softly

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I couldn't stop throwing up all day" she mumbled with her head buried on a pillow

"Well, I thought that you will be miserable going through this, so I brought you some food and maybe I could stick around and watch some movie? If you are in the mood of course"

Olivia turned to face him, so Elliot was able to see her puffy eyes and the tear strained cheeks.

"Thanks Elliot. I don't think I could ever thank you enough for what you're doing for me" she said and tears began to roll down her face again

"Hey, hey what's wrong Liv?" he said with a worried look

Olivia cried silently for some more minutes

"I saw him. With another woman" she finally blurted out

"Who? Dean?"

"Yeah! I mean, I shouldn't have cared since he made himself pretty clear from the beginning, but I just couldn't help feeling…"

"Cheated?" Elliot asked calmly. Olivia just stared at him for a second. Then she got up and started pacing up and down the living room.

"Why am I doing this to myself? He had been nothing but a complete jerk to me, from the moment he found out about the pregnancy. God, I feel so stupid! It shouldn't have bothered me, but yet, it has" she stopped pacing and sighed

Elliot stood up too and placed a hand to her shoulder

"It will take some time, but you'll get there" he said softly

Olivia shook her head and moved away from him. But suddenly she froze on the spot and gasped, placing a hand in her abdomen.

"Liv? What's wrong?" Elliot said alarmed and rushed to her side. She had a terrified expression.

"I'm not sure, I just felt this pain in my…ooohhh" she didn't have a chance to finish as she folded in two yelling from the pain.

"Elliot…Oh my God… the baby…" she mumbled holding her stomach

"I'm going to call a bus, we have to get you to a hospital straight away" he said reaching for his cellphone. But before he was able to dial 911 Olivia grabbed his hand. She was paler than a ghost

"El…please… don't leave me…" she whispered before collapsing unconscious to his arms.

Elliot was stepping up and down the hospital corridor. It had been almost half an hour since they had rushed Olivia to the ER and since then, he hadn't gotten any update on how was she. Some more minutes passed and a doctor appeared from one room. She approached him

"Are you the one who brought Ms Benson in?"

"Yes. Is she ok, is the baby ok?" Elliot asked in agony

"They are both fine now. The baby was in distress, that's what caused the cramping and fainting. Since I cannot find any other cause, I believe that this whole episode had to do with Ms Benson being under a lot of stress. And I saw on her medical file that she had been admitted about three months ago with the exact same symptoms. Mr Stabler, was she under stress lately?"

"Especially today, she was, There was a… um, certain incident…" Elliot said uncomfortably

"Are you the father Mr Stabler?"

"No, I'm not. The father of the baby is not in the picture"

The doctor gave him a sympathetic look

"I see. I can also tell that you care about her. So tell her from now on to take it easy. Avoid stress as much as she can, because if that happens again, I'm not sure, how much we would be able to do"

Elliot shivered. It would kill Olivia if something happened to the baby, and it would kill him too, for not being able to protect them.

"Can I see her now?"

"Of course. We've given her mild medication for the cramps, so she's pretty zoned right now but she'll be fine in the morning" the doctor said and lead Elliot to Olivia's room. She was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, looking pale and tired. Elliot reached out for her hand and held it tight onto his. The movement caused Olivia to stir and open her eyes

"El?" she said tiredly

"Liv, hey. How are you feeling?"

"Better but so tired"

"Just sleep Liv"

"I just want to go home"

Elliot turned and looked at the doctor waiting to see if she would approve Olivia's demand. She smiled

"It's fine, as long as there's someone there with you"

"I will be there, don't worry"

"El there's no need to…"

"No Olivia. I'm going to stay with you tonight" He said firmly. Olivia was too wore out to argue more, so she just nodded

"Get me the discharged papers" she said

Some hour later the cab stopped in front of Olivia's building. Elliot helped her out, she was still very zoned from the medication. Once they got inside and reached for the elevator, they realized that it was broken.

"Great. I don't think I can walk four floors up" Olivia mumbled leaning against the wall.

"Ok so I'll carry you." Elliot said and before she was able to protest or say anything he scooped her up to his arms. They went up four floors like that. By the time they reached Olivia's apartment, she was almost asleep to his arms. He unlocked the door and carried her inside

He placed her gently on her bed. She stirred up a bit and opened her eyes

"My pajamas" she mumbled "I want to change out from this clothes" she said and with slow moves she reached for the tank top that was laying under her pillow. Without even realizing that Elliot was still in the room with her she pulled off her shirt, exposing her pregnant belly, which Elliot couldn't help but think, was the cutest scene in the world. But also she exposed her black lacy bra. She was ready to take that out to so Elliot cleared his throat softly and turned around. After a minute he turned his head to look at Liv again, hoping that she was done with her top. She was indeed, and now she was struggling to stand up so as to take off her jeans. Elliot rushed to her side because if she tried this alone, she would surely fall back.

"Come on here" he said and offered her his hand for support. She took of the jeans from one leg, then from the other, and Elliot cleared his throat again in discomfort as now she was standing in front of him with only a tank top and her panties. But now he couldn't look away, otherwise Olivia wouldn't be able to put her pajama pants on her own. So he just stayed there, and helped her with that.

After she was finished, Olivia leaned back to the bed above the sheets.

"I feel so tired" she mumbled

"It's the medication Liv. Sleep and in the morning you'll be fine"

" Thank you El, for helping me"

"You don't have to thank me Liv, I told you I'll be here for you anytime you need me"

"Sometimes I wish that you were my baby's father"

Elliot stared at her. Her eyes were closed but she was caressing her baby bump. He really didn't know how to respond to that

"Liv…." Was all he managed to say

"I just love my baby so much already, and I wish that its father loved it too, but he doesn't… but you do…and I love you for that…yes…." Elliot knew that she was despite talking but he was startled. Unable to say anything, he just stood there watching Olivia falling asleep. He put a blanket over her, then took another one from the closet and headed for the living room

After a while of tossing and turning on the couch, Elliot opened his eyes and sighed.

"_Sometimes I wish that you were my baby's father"_

Although he knew that Liv probably wouldn't remember what she said in the morning, he couldn't take it out of his mind. Because deep down, as much as it scared him to admit it, he kind of wished that too.

He woke up the next morning feeling as if he hadn't slept a bit, which wasn't entirely untrue. He had spent the whole night waking up from nightmares of Olivia running away from New York, from him, or of Olivia crying over Dean's dead body…. He had even gone a time or two to Olivia's room and had stood on the doorway watching her sleep, the moonlight falling on her pale and tired but yet, beautiful face.

He rose and tossed the blanket aside. Suddenly he heard a noise from the bathroom. He went and watched on the doorway as Olivia was emptying the contents of her stomach on the toilet. When she was finished she sat on the cold tiles with a tired look. Elliot went inside and leaned above her

" Everything ok?"

"Ugh, I feel so tired…" she groaned

"It's from the medication. Even though it's mild, they got on you because you're pregnant. Plus it's legitimate, after what happened yesterday" he said calmly

Olivia looked at him. Her face had a scared expression

"I was so terrified El. The doctor said that if this happens again…." Her voice broke as tears started filling her eyes

"So it won't happen. Liv, I know you won't let it."

She turned and looked directly at his piercing blue eyes and immediately felt more confident. She smiled

"You're damn sure I won't" she said steadily but still smiling. Elliot smiled back and offered her his hand. She took it and followed him back to her bedroom where she laid on the bed

" I don't think I will make it to work today, it's more likely that I'll doze off on my desk, or worst, during an interrogation, making an absolute fool of myself."

Elliot grinned

"I'll call Cragen to give us both the day off"

"Both?"

"Liv, I'm not leaving you today"

"El come on, you don't have to…"

"You're right, I don't have to, but I want to, so shut up Benson" he said while he was dialing Cragen's number and Olivia chuckled softly. As he was waiting for Cragen to answer, he watched her dozing off again and he was not able to hold back a sigh.

_**I know **_**_that some of you are thinking "Why he is not confessing already?" Especially after what Liv told him on this chapter. So I have to say: Pleasee be patient! I know, I know it's hard but I PROMISE, that things will get more interesting on the following chapters and there would be a certain one that would make it up to you ;) Also on the next chapter we'll get to see Kathy, and what her reaction will be? :P Stay tuned to find out!_**

**_ALSO don't forget to review! Your support until now has been fantastic! So review and tell me what you think, what would you like to see, I will try to take everything into notice!_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6! **_

_**Disclaimer: Do I have to say **__**it again? *sigh* Oh well, if you want, I do not own them, happy now?**_

"If you're not going to finish that, just pass it along"

"You 've already eaten another two donuts, and now you want mine too? "

"The baby needs food. So are you going to pass it or what?"

"Dad? Olivia?"

They both turned around, still grinning wide to come face to face with an obviously very upset looking Kathleen.

"Oh God. I guess Mom was right all along. I can't believe you knocked her up!" she exclaimed with fury

"Kathleen, this is not what it seems…" Elliot said warningly as people around the little coffee shop had started watching their encounter.

In the middle of the 5th month, Olivia's pregnancy was obvious to everyone. And from what she could make out from the look in Kathleen's face, Elliot hadn't mentioned anything to his kids about it, or at least, Kathleen in particular. She couldn't blame him, he barely even seen them any more, with his work, school and college in the way and so the little time they got to spend together, obviously didn't suit for the whole "Olivia is pregnant by an asshole who dumped her" conversation.

"Yeah as if" the girl snorted sarcastically

"Kathleen, your father is telling the truth. Why don't we go somewhere more quiet to talk?" Olivia said softly

The girl eyed them suspiciously for a second but something on Olivia's calm demeanor made her drop her guard a little and so she nodded and followed them out of the café.

After some while, all three were seated in a bench on a nearby park.

"So you want me to believe that Olivia's not pregnant with your baby?" Kathleen asked in a slight sarcastic manner

Elliot began saying something but Olivia gave him a look and so he stopped.

"Yes, Kathleen. My baby's father is actually my ex-boyfriend who the minute he found out about it, ran as far away as he could. He wants nothing to do with me, or the baby." She couldn't help it as her tone became a little bitter, as it happened every time Dean's name was brought up in a conversation, which thankfully was rare, even never.

Kathleen's face dropped.

"Oh God Liv, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I mean… Dad didn't mention anything…" she mumbled showing truthful remorse for her previous behavior

"Honey, did you really think, that if, I was involved with another woman and especially Olivia and that baby was mine, I wouldn't have told you? That I would have kept such a secret from you?"

Kathleen lowered her head with a guilty look.

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just… I saw Olivia and snapped, I guess" she sighed

"It's ok Kathleen. It doesn't matter" Olivia smiled reassuringly and the girl seemed more relieved

Some minutes later, Kathleen left, apologizing again to Olivia

The two of them, stayed for a little longer, just gazing quietly the people passing by.

"Funny right? How Kathleen automatically assumed that the baby is mine?" Elliot said letting out a small laugh. Olivia laughed too but hers was a bit sarcastic

"Well, I can't say that I was surprised. The whole time you and Kathy were married, she kept thinking that you and I had an affair. She probably let something slip to the kids" she said

"You think?"

"I'm sure"

"Anyway" Olivia stood up carefully, a hand in her bump. " I kind of think it's better for people to assume that the baby is yours, than whom's actually is" she said playfully

"Yeah right, tell me about it" Elliot laughed nervously and followed her to the exit of the park, feeling his insides burning with desperation

"_What on earth am I going to do?"_ he kept thinking as they were walking back to the station and Olivia was chatting away. He found it extremely hard to pay any attention to what she was saying, he was too busy, thinking how soft her lips looked and how good it would feel to kiss them.

* * *

"Yeah Kathy, I know, I know I promised! I'm not breaking my promise…. Just bring him later over to Olivia's ok?... I'm just helping her with something ok? Why do you care anyways… Ok look Kath, I'm not gonna get into a screaming match with you over the phone, just bring him to Olivia's at 3. Bye"

Elliot hung up the phone and tossed it aside with an angry sigh. Olivia was staring at him during the entire conversation.

"El" she said softly "You don't have to come over, really. I will manage it by myself"

"What, let you move all the things out of the guest room and piled it to boxes all by yourself? Yeah, you wish"

"We can do it another day"

"That's the only afternoon we both have free, and besides you'll have to start making the nursery."

"Ok ok I just don't want you and Kathy fight over me"

Elliot snorted

"Believe me, Kathy will always find a reason to snap at me"

By three p.m this afternoon Elliot had packed everything from Olivia's guest room into boxes. He barely had let her do anything, much to her annoyance because as she exclaimed to him several times "I'm pregnant Elliot, not disabled!"

"So what are you going to do with Eli?" Olivia asked Elliot as they were sited on the couch

"Um, I dunno, something quiet for sure though" he said rubbing his forehead. Olivia chuckled

"What don't tell me you got so tired over cleaning a room!" she teased him

"Hey, you didn't do anything so you have no right…"

"You wouldn't let me Stabler remember? God you got old" she added even more teasingly as she went up to open the door, hearing the bell ringing.

She opened to reveal a frowned Kathy and Eli.

"Livia!" the toddler exclaimed happily and hugged her legs

"Hey buddy, how are you?" Olivia bent to be on his height

"Liv don't bent like that…" Elliot said as he walked through the door "Hey bud!" he picked his son up and kissed his forehead

"Oh my God. Are you pregnant?"

They had both forgot Kathy who was still standing on the doorstep. They turned to look at her, finding her staring at Olivia with what could be described as frustration

"No, she swallowed a baseball. Of course she's pregnant Kathy!" Elliot. Kathy snorted

"You didn't loose any time, I see. And when would you do the courtesy and tell me, well don't mind me, tell your children?"

Elliot began to talk but Olivia raised her hand to interrupt him and take the matter into her own hands just like the other day with Kathleen

"Ok so, just to clear things up here" she said starting to feel very annoyed with Kathy's attitude. Kathleen's she could understand, but Kathy's, hell no.

"My baby is not Elliot's. It's father is my ass of an ex-boyfriend, who doesn't want anything to do with it. And just to avoid any further questions, Elliot and I are not romantically involved. He's just helping me, as a friend, and today he had the courtesy to remove the things from my guest room so as to make space for the baby's nursery. Is everything clear to you now, Kathy?"

Both women stayed for some seconds staring at each other. Kathy's eyebrows were raised and she began telling something, but then she noticed Olivia's death glare and stopped. She knew that it would lead to another tongue-lacing from her and eventually to a fight and like hell she wanted that, in front of Elliot.

"Crystal clear" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm

"Bye baby" she said then to Eli who was sitting in the floor playing with two small cars, totally uninterested with everything that was going on around him. With one last look to Olivia, Kathy turned around and left.

* * *

"So she just assumed that the baby is Elliot's? Way to go" Alex commented flatly and Olivia nodded.

"Well the woman has some issues" Casey added

They were sitting on their favorite café, enjoying some hours away from their offices and the chaos that followed their job. Plus Alex and Casey had agreed, more like insisted, that they would help Olivia pick up the furniture and the essentials for the nursery.

Olivia sighed. She had just said to them about the whole ordeal with Kathy, and Kathleen. While they both agreed that Kathleen's was slightly understandable, Kathy's was just childish.

"I mean doesn't she have some dignity?" Alex asked

Olivia sighed

"I don't know. But I can't help but think that the reaction is, at some level, expected"

The two ADA's turned to look at her with confusion

"I mean" Olivia continued trying to prove her point, "I am the woman that Elliot spent most of his time with, more than he is spending with his wife and children combined. I guess it's the natural instinct of the wife to feel intimidated. She had suggested it before, and we both denied it, as if there was ever something else to admit, it never was and never will".

As she was saying those last phrases, she raised her head to see the two women looking at her with some disbelief.

"What?" she asked quizzically

"Liv-" Casey started

"Even if it's really outrageous for the woman to come to your house and talk to you that way, you can't deny that there was always some tension between you and Elliot, and when he got divorced a part of me truly expected you two to get together, but you found Dean and you seemed happy…"

"I was happy" Olivia interrupted Alex with a slightly bitter tone

" And when you got pregnant and that asshole walked away" Casey picked it up " I won't lie to you, I, we thought that maybe it was the time"

Olivia looked at them a bit stunned

"You really thought that Elliot and I will get together?"

"Yeah Liv and don't stand there and tell me that the thought never crossed your mind because I will honestly not believe you" Alex said pointedly.

"I…" Olivia began saying but stopped

Images of Elliot and her through the many years of their partnership, their friendship, passed her mind. Their protectiveness for each other, the fear that embraced all those times when someone was in danger, how they could communicate with even a glance and then all the small things, the gazes across their desks, sharing some coffee and lunch, how he made her laugh to all his stupid jokes and finally how from the moment she told him that she was pregnant, he hadn't left her side.

She thought of all those things and suddenly she became aware of a feeling that was probably deep buried inside her. She couldn't exactly place it, she was afraid to do so, more than anything. So she shook her head and came back to reality

" I can't afford to think like that right now" she said simply to her friends "Elliot and I, I won't deny it, there might be something there. But I can't jeopardize what we already have, especially now" she caressed her growing belly

" I need him" she said after a pause, surprising herself with the statement, since she hadn't let herself actually feel it, but as time was going by, it became more and more obvious. "We're good with what we have. It's enough for me" she said with a tone that suggested that this conversation had came to an end.

Alex and Casey took the hint immediately and changed topic.

"Ok so the time has come." Alex said with a grin "Will we be shopping blue or pink?" she asked expectantly

Olivia smile broadly

"Pink" she said and her friends let out and excited gasp

"Liv a girl! Congratulations!" Casey said smiling broadly too

Alex leaned and pulled her into a hug

"I'm so happy for you. Your daughter will be so lucky to have a mom like you" she said

" I hope so" Olivia said placing a hand in her bump

* * *

She opened the door of the room and smiled. After picking everything up Alex and Casey had come and helped her install everything. The walls have already been painted a baby yellow because Olivia thought that either pink or blue will be too much. But the crib and the changing table were white with beautiful pink details.

She walked inside and went to sit to the rocking chair that was occupying one corner. The baby moved inside her and she placed her hand on her stomach.

The baby. My daughter, she thought. My little girl

She moved inside her and Olivia started slowly to caress her bump.

_Lay your sleeping head, my love,_

_Human on my faithless arm_

The words of an old lullaby came to her mind. She closed her eyes and saw her mother leaning above her, caressing her hair and humming the lullaby sweetly

_Time and fevers burn away_

_Individual beauty from_

_Thoughtful children, and the grave_

_Proves the child ephemeral_

With her eyes closed and her hand still in her bump she start whispering the song herself

_Soul and body have no bounds_

_To lovers as they lie upon_

_Her tolerant enchanted slope_

_In their ordinary swoon_

As more and more of the song was coming to her mind, she drifted off, with her hand always upon her stomach, protecting the little girl inside her

_Every farthing of the cost_

_All the dreaded cards foretell,_

_Shall be paid, but from this night_

_Not a whisper, not a thought,_

_Not a kiss nor look be lost._

_**Coming up, a not so nice surprise for Liv. Also the **_**_notorious Helena Jenkins makes an appearance again. What would be the outcome of the showdown? And will Elliot make a move? Lots and lots to come, just stay tuned and review! It always makes me so happy to read your opinions!_**

**_Also if you want to see anything, or you have any suggestion on the story, just review and tell me! xoxo Kate_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Thank you everyone for your reviews, follows... etc!**_

_**Chapter 7! Elliot finally talks! what the **_**_outcome will be? _**

**_Disclaimer: No I do not own them! *sigh*_**

She was sitting on the examination table frowned.

"Are you sure?" she asked

"Yes but try not to worry much. Gestational diabetes can be held easily under control"

She swayed uncomfortably

"So what do I have to do?"

"I'll recommend a diet suitable for diabetics, exercise and insulin injections. Do you have someone to give them to you or are you going to do it by yourself?" the doctor asked

" Probably…"

" So I will show you how it's done and if you have, you can show it to someone else too" he suggested "Now you should also…"

The doctor kept talking but she flew away for a moment

"Great" she thought. "Exactly what I needed"

She was coming out from the doctor's building still flagger basted from the information she had just received. She was nervously trying to make a mental list of all the things she had to do when she heard an all-familiar voice

"Hello Olivia!"

She raised her head slowly not wanting to believe that once more she was damned enough to meet with Helena Jenkins.

"Hello Helena" she forced a smile

Helena let out a disgustingly girly laugh

"Funny isn't it, that we keep meeting like that?"

"Tell me about it" Olivia replied unimpressed.

"So how's everything with the baby?"

"Um, everything is great. Now if you'll excuse me I actually…" Olivia tried to make a not-so discrete exit but Helena was taking none of it

"How's Elliot?" she asked her voice dripping with so much sweetness that made Olivia sick to her stomach. The baby kicked inside her.

"He's fine too. Look I really…"

"It must be good to have at least one male in your life Olivia to help you with this. Believe me, you will need it" Helena interrupted her again

Olivia didn't quite understand whether it was the concerned slash expert voice she'd used or the hand she placed in her shoulder, but something inside her flinched. Flinched badly.

"And where's that coming from?" she hissed stepping back "From the huge experience you have with kids, or from the results of your so successful marriage?"

Helena looked stunned for a moment but then she lost no time.

" Don't you dare bring my husband and my marriage into this!" the sweetness was drown completely from her voice now.

Olivia snorted sarcastically

"Well, your husband doesn't seem so concern about your marriage, since he's bragging about how he's been banging his secretary, on restrooms" she said with a disgusted tone

Helena's eyes became larger than plates. She pressed her lips so tightly that the color disappeared from them. When she opened them again to speak, her voice was a dangerous whisper

"You lying bitch. You think you're so much better just because you're having a baby. Well I don't know if that's news to you but you are nothing, I cannot even believe how a guy stuck around so long as to knock you up, or was it a night stand? I won't be surprised. Either ways I feel sorry for the poor guy. I totally understand why he left you."

Helena's words were dripping poison. But Olivia did not move a muscle while she was talking. She tried to remain as calm as possible. For the baby, she kept reminding herself. When Helena was done, Olivia spoke her voice calm and collected but her words harmful.

"You are so pathetic. You think that you'll intimidate me? Well try as much you like, it won't happen. And now excuse me but I have better things to do than to sit here and listen to you dripping poison to me because you don't want to accept how much _your_ life sucks."

And with that she turned around and left. For a brief moment she thought that Helena will run beneath her and slap her, but she knew she wouldn't risk the public humiliation of assaulting a pregnant woman in the middle of the street. But that's all that's keeping her, she thought.

* * *

"So you've got everything you need?"

"Yeah we've got everything from the list, El. Thanks for the help"

Olivia shot Elliot a wide grin as they were placing the groceries on the fridge and selves

"You know it's nothing Liv. Did you got the insulin?"

"Yes and the needles and the monitor."

"If you need any help with that…"

"I'll be fine El, it's just a shot"

"Liv…"

She turn to face him and saw the worry in his eyes.

"El. It's ok. I'll be fine. You seem more stressed than I am" she said calmly. He sighed

"I know, it's just that you live alone and if something happens…"

"I've been living alone almost my whole life, I am a big girl El, I know how to take care of myself" she interrupted him

He raised his hands in defeat and she laughed.

"Come on let's grab something to drink and go on the living room" she said still smiling.

Some hour later, they were sat on the couch, chatting

"So when are you going to maternity leave?" he asked her

"In about a month. I bet Cragen will be relieved to see my back, even though I'm on desk duty and doing interrogations only" she replied. Elliot let out a laugh

" Be sure about that. Anyway it's going to be kind of hectic without you around. How am I going to put up with Fin's temper and Munch's jokes all by myself?"

She smirked

"You'll manage. I'm not sure but I think that having to give birth, kind of beats that"

"Touché"

They smiled at each other and stayed silent for a bit, lost in their own thoughts.

"You know, I'm really going to miss you Liv" Elliot said quietly after a while

Olivia leaned and touch his arm

"I'm going to miss you too. But I'll be back before you know it. Wore out from the sleepless nights but there nevertheless."

He nodded

"Have I ever told you how much I admire you for what you're doing?" he said

"El… there's no need…." She started saying

"No. You deserve to be happy. And this little girl will be so lucky to have you as a mother. You'll be a wonderful mother Liv" he continued placing a hand on her bump

Olivia felt her insides burning in his touch. Without realizing it, she closed her eyes and let out a soft moan. She felt Elliot's hand moving from her stomach to her arm and then to her cheek, where he caressed her soft skin.

"Liv, open your eyes. I want you to look at me" he whispered

Olivia heard his voice as if from very far away but complied. She opened her eyes to find his own amazing blue ones staring at her intently. She opened her mouth to talk but she was interrupted by Elliot who placed a finger on her lips.

"Don't talk" his voice was quiet and husky and sent shivers down her body.

Everything happened as if in slow motion. Olivia saw Elliot moving towards her, she felt his lips on hers, his tongue brushing her bottom lip. She parted her lips slowly, letting his tongue slip inside her mouth. Letting out a moan, she deepened the kiss. They battled for dominance and he easily won. He started exploring her mouth, their tongues tangled on a wild dance.

Elliot slowly lowered her on the couch, one arm supporting his weight above her, carefully, the other rubbing the exposed skin of her cleavage. Her hands came to rest on his shoulders, while he moved his hand under her shirt and on her right breast. He started feeling her over the soft material of her bra.

Everything she felt was a blur, everything except from how good Elliot's hungry lips felt on her own, Elliot's hands on her body, it was so… so….

She gasped and pushed him away. He looked at her surprised.

"We shouldn't be doing this…. We… I… I can't do it, I won't be able to…" she was mumbling.

"Liv what…" Elliot leaned to touch her arm but she pulled away and quickly rose from the couch.

"It's wrong, it shouldn't have happened"

"Liv I thought you liked it, you wanted it" he said in a disbelieving tone.

"It doesn't matter. We can't go there. We can't" she said firmly.

"Liv…"

She rose from the couch and start pacing up and down the living room. Elliot was watching her from his seat.

"What about our job? I mean... it's forbidden..."

"Liv we'll figure that out. If we want this, we'll find a way to handle the job and..."

"It's not just the job" she interrupted him, still pacing up and down "We can risk what we have, not now, I can't deal with the disappointment"

Elliot rose too from the couch and moved towards her. He grabbed her gently from her shoulders and stopped her. She shook her head frantically

"Liv, look at me" he whispered. She turned to look at him with desperate eyes.

"I wanted to do this for so long. But I was afraid, and you had a lot on your mind with Dean and the baby, but I had to. It was eating me up on the inside. Liv I lo..."

"Don't!" she almost yelled and backed off from him.

"Please go" she whispered.

She was standing in the middle of the living room, her arms wrapped around herself, her head lowered and her eyes closed. For a moment he stood there, just looking at her. Then he walked past her and to the door. With a last glance on her still form, he left.

_**I guess I'll have to go and hide somewhere cause I'm pretty sure you all going to hunt me down and kill me! But trust me **_**_you don't want to do that cause the next chapter is... All I'm going to say is that the rating of this chapter will have to be an... M!_**

**_Again... review review and review! I''d love to hear what you think, even if it's threats :P _**


	8. Chapter 8

_**I am so so sorry for the delay! I know you've all been dying to know what is going to happen next, but college stuff, which unfortunately included studying (**_**_argh:P), totally got on the way!_**

_**A fair warning, this chapter's rating is M!**_

_**Also please go easy on me **_**_cause this isn't something I do often, and with English not being my native language, it's double difficulty!_**

**_Disclaimer: If I owned them, what happens in this chapter, will happened in almost every SVU episode :P_**

* * *

The next few days where pure hell. They would fight constantly over stupid reasons and every time someone would have to interfere for things to calm down. Except from the fights and exchanging some necessary words, Elliot and Olivia were totally ignoring each other.

This particular day was the worst. They would pick a fight over everything. At some point, Cragen having enough of it, sent Olivia home, telling her that all this tense was not good for the baby and she should go and rest. She protested a little but when she saw the "it's not negotiable" look on his face, she gave up.

She returned to her apartment fuming. Who the hell Elliot thought he was? He was acting like an a-class jackass since the whole making out thing. Couldn't he understand her reasons?

Her angry thoughts were disrupted by a knock on the door. Without thinking much she went and opened, but she regretted it instantly, seeing Elliot on the doorstep.

"Elliot lea…" she wasn't able to finish her phrase and he was all over her, kissing her fiercely. For a moment she stood startled but then she started moving her lips with his, putting all the anger and frustration she had felt the last days, on the kiss.

He started moving them to her bedroom without breaking the kiss, not for one second. They were moving form wall to wall, their tongues a tangled mess, and their soft moans audible. They reached the door and she pushed him roughly on it. Their movement pushed the door wide open. When they finally got inside, he closed the door and pushed her on it. He started tagging the hem of her plain white t-shirt and they broke the kiss just to take it off her. Just as they got back to their passionate kiss she torn his shirt, throwing it somewhere in the room, with the ripped buttons covering the floor they stood.

She smirked at him, her chocolate eyes piercing straight through him.

Her hands then moved at the hem of his dark jeans indicating she wanted them off, too. He was all too happy to oblige. In a swift movement he pulled his jeans down, along with his underwear. When he looked up again he saw that Olivia had copied his moves. She was standing before him in her black lacy underwear, that he so eager to remove. And he did.

Both completely naked now, their moves frenzied, almost angry but filled with an unspoken passion of almost ten years.

He turned her around. She slammed her hands on the wall, breathing hard and fast. He attacked her neck and buried his head on it, kissing her and sucking on her delicate skin hard, until he broke it. His hands travelled down her naked breasts squeezing them, and pinching on her nipples hard, causing her to moan. Her head fell back to his shoulder, her eyes shut, completely given to the shiver that was running through her body, the ache between her legs rising fast. She could feel his erection against her bare ass and her breath tightened. He suddenly turned round and they came face to face once again.

Olivia leaned and caught his lips on another hard kiss and soon both their tongues were fighting for dominance into each other's mouth. Elliot grabbed and started rubbing her one leg and Olivia raised her other leg and secured it around his waist. Elliot moved backwards to the bed with Olivia wrapped around him.

He laid her on her back and leaned above her supporting his weight with his elbows. She moved his head towards her and sucked with her lips his neck.

"Liv…" he growled, ready to explode, the need and the desire burning inside him.

"I…need…you…" she whispered in his ear breathlessly, between giving him small bites in the neck. He moaned in response and he positioned himself on top of her. She felt his throbbing cock on her entrance and a moan escaped her lips.

He looked down on her, seeking for the ok to go on. She leaned forward and captured his lips into another fiery kiss.

He slipped inside her slowly feeling her wetness on his cock. Her walls clenched around him and Olivia gasped and shivered feeling how big and thick he was.

Once he had descended into her fully, Elliot moaned with pleasure on how tight the fit was. He started moving inside her steady and slowly. He leaned forward his forehead coming to rest against hers. Olivia clutched her hands onto his back and held tight. He watched her as she bite her lower lip and her eyes rolled, as she let the pleasure overcome her body.

"Look at me" he whispered imperatively. She turned her gaze into him and her warm brown eyes met his blue ones

"Harder" she demanded her voice barely a whisper, burying her nails on his backside, marking him.

Elliot started moving harder and faster. A loud moan escaped her lips and Olivia thrust her hips upwards to accommodate him.

He lowered his head and took her nipple into his mouth, sucking in softly. She moaned loudly and moved her hand from his back to his head and caressed his short hair. He moved to the other nipple, repeating his moves.

He lifted his sweaty body up. He grabbed her right leg and placed it on his shoulder.

"Fuck Liv" he growled as his movements became even more hard and deep.

"Oh God El" Olivia said out of breath, going to a new level of pleasure with the new position, which instantly made him reach parts inside her that drove her crazy. She threw her head back and clenched the sheets beneath her

He felt her walls tightening around his cock. He could see the sweat that was dripping down her bare breasts, her glistening chest going up and down as she was breathing hard and fast beneath him.

"Come for me, come for me Liv" he whispered, feeling his own end coming too.

He made his thrusts faster and as deep as physically possible. Suddenly Olivia rolled her eyes and let out a loud moan.

"Oh God El!" she yelled as an intense orgasm took over her body making her arch from head to toe. That was enough for Elliot who felt his cock clenching and then his own orgasm came

"Liv" he growled as he was spilling inside her "Olivia!" he yelled.

The room filled with their breaths that were easing down after their intense orgasms. Elliot slipped out of her and fell to the bed beside her, still panting hard.

After some minute with the only sound being their pants Elliot turned to look at Olivia, who was staring at the ceiling with glassy eyes.

"Olivia I…"

"Don't"

Her voice was steady and firm, drawn from every emotion.

"Why are you doing this?" his voice came out frustrated and hurt. She turned to look at him and her eyes were filled with tears that had started running down her cheeks.

"I can't El. It is too much right now" she whispered.

He remained silent watching as more tears escaped her eyelids. She picked the sheet and covered herself, her hand coming to rest to her bump.

"Please understand" her voice barely audible was filled with beg.

He rose from the bed slowly and start going around the room picking his clothes and wearing them. Olivia didn't move.

"El…" she said as him, now fully clothed, reached for the bedroom door. Without looking at her he exited the room. Olivia waited until she heard the door of the apartment opening and closing, to allow her tears to run down freely. She curled her legs just beneath her stomach and buried her head to the sheets before she started sobbing silently

* * *

Elliot walked into the precinct the next day in a total foul mood. The first thing that he noticed was Olivia's empty desk and his furriness was increased instantly.

"Where's Olivia?" he asked Fin who was sitting in his desk watching him silently.

"She went into early maternity leave. Something to do with her diabetes" he replied still examining him with his eyes.

Elliot stared at him for some seconds and then he threw his coat on his chair muttering something under his breath.

"Something happened with Liv, Stabler?" Fin asked him with an obvious suspicion in his voice.

"No" he replied his voice firm and dried.

"Nothing happened."

_**Ok so if you didn't want to kill me because of the last chapter, I am sure that you all want to hunt me down know and kill me in a slow, painful way :P It's a good thing that I live so far away from most of you lol :P **_

_**But! I am asking you to bare with me, I have great plans for this story, which is far from over may I say ;). Sooo the chapter, spoke for itself, **_**_things are WAY over the top now, what on earth is gong to happen next?_**

**_Review and tell me what you think, even if it's a death threat :P _**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9 **_**_yeahh! Thank you everyone for your support it's been great so far!_**

**_Ok so I can't help myself: WHY ON EARTH 26th OF SEPTEMBER IS SO DAMN FAR AWAY? And ok I know that Cragen is being charged with murder, but can you blame people for freaking out about who's in Olivia's bed? Which is so obvious that is Cassidy! I am kind of ok with this, but if he goes and hurt Liv things will get ugly I promise! I mean give the woman a break!_**

**_Disclaimer: If I owned them, OBVIOUSLY Εlliot would be the one in Olivia's bed, and he would be in Olivia's bed for the rest 21 episodes of the season!_**

* * *

The snow was falling heavy on Manhattan this New Year's Eve morning. People were walking up and down the busy streets shopping and chatting away happily, planning their perfect New Year's Eve. Elliot was watching them behind the precinct's window with a dark gaze. Every now and then he would turn his look over to Olivia's empty desk and his expression would darken more.

It had been two weeks since she went into maternity leave and two weeks since they had had sex. They hadn't spoken at all after that night. None of them even tried to contact the other.

He returned to his office and grabbed his coat. He couldn't stand being there another minute. He needed some fresh air.

He marched out of the precinct. He walked outside of the building oblivious of his surroundings until someone almost stepped on him.

"Hey" he said annoyed and turned to see who it was, only to come face to face with Dean Porter. Dean looked startled at first but hide it quickly.

"Stabler" he said.

Elliot kept looking at him silently. Then he took one step, his face now being only inches away from Porter's.

"You asshole" he hissed "How dare you step foot in here?"

Porter swayed uncomfortable backwards.

"It's my job Stabler" he replied in almost an annoyed tone who sent Elliot's anger to new levels, but he didn't respond immediately.

"How's Olivia?" Dean asked next and Elliot felt like he was fuming.

"Pregnant. With your kid" he said, his voice a dangerous whisper.

"I was clean with her from the beginning. Whatever she decided after, I hold no responsibility" Dean said without moving a muscle.

Elliot's hands moved to form a punch. He was now trembling from anger.

"You…"

"Me what? Oh don't tell me you feel sorry about it Stabler! Me stepping back gave you the perfect opportunity to make a move, be the good man who will comfort her. I'm sure she wasted no time to hook up with you. I knew that there was always something there. You know, I doubt that this baby is even mine!" Porter said with a snort.

That did it. Elliot's hand moved and before Dean was able to figure out what was happening, he threw his punch across his face. People around them stopped and turn to look at them stunned.

"Don't you ever talk for her like this again, do you hear me? You don't fucking deserve her, you don't deserve this baby. You are a fucking coward Porter. Olivia and this baby are better off without you" He growled to a startled Dean who was holding his bloody mouth. With no further words he marched away fast, panting hard.

* * *

"_Mom come on, sing it again!"_

"_Again? Don't you get bored by it Livy?"_

"_No mom! I love it! You are singing it so nice! Please mommy!"_

"_Ok but just once more…"_

She lifted her shirt all the way up to her swollen stomach. She searched for a clean area on her hip and wiped it with the cotton ball. She felt the baby inside her move and placed a hand in her stomach smiling.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,_

_Just like the ones I used to know_

_Where the treetops glisten and children listen_

_To hear sleigh bells in the snow_

She pinched the skin and inserted the needle quickly. She winced slightly and made a grimace as she was pushing the plunger of the syringe down. Even though she was by now used to insulin injections, the pain was still annoying.

She quickly removed the needle and pressed the cotton ball against the area. With her other hand she placed the syringe on the counter and turned the volume of the radio up.

"_Come on Livy sing with me!"_

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,_

_With every Christmas card I write_

_May your days be merry and bright,_

_And may all your Christmases be white_

Olivia lowered her shirt down and turned the radio off. She sighed. The baby moved again. She giggled and caressed her bump slowly.

"You know today it's the last day of the year. Next year we will celebrate together this day. And we will make together New Year's resolutions. And yours would be no men until you're thirty." She laughed "Well I guess if you're anything like me, this kind of resolution is out of the table" she said with a smirk and the baby replied with a kick

"Easy there" she said softly.

She thought about the song that was playing on the radio before she turned it off, "White Christmas". When she was 4, she would make her mother sing it to her all the time during the holiday season. Most of the times she complied, it was still tolerable then. Now that she was thinking of it, her fourth Christmas were the last real Christmas of her childhood. After that, her mom would just spent Christmas and New Year's Eve passed out with a bottle in front of the small tree that Olivia would have insisted to decorate.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door being knocked the first time. Without thinking much, she mechanically went and opened, but she froze on the spot seeing Elliot on her doorstep.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with desperation.

The past two weeks she had made great efforts not to think of the passionate sex they've had or the way he left her, or the fact that he didn't make any effort to contact her. Not that she did. She was too scared, but also too determined to seal herself from any more pain.

"Humor me Liv, lie to me. Tell me that you don't want me the way I do" he said with a calmness that sent shivers down her spine. Elliot took a step forward and now their faces were only inches away.

Olivia inhaled and the smell of winter and snow combined with a smell that was uniquely Elliot filled her and she momentary felt lightheaded. She stood there, unable to move or speak.

"Humor me Liv" he whispered again.

"Tell me that you don't love me too, because I do, I love you"

She wasn't sure if it was the previous dizziness or the force of the word he used but Olivia stumbled back, grabbing the door for support.

"Don't…" she mumbled trying to collect herself. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. But it didn't help. His gaze was dead serious.

"Elliot, you have to understand. I can't do this right now. What if we don't work out? I have to think of my daughter too. I owe it to her. I'm all she has" she finally said with a trembling voice.

"So please just drop it. Let's forget about it El. Please" she pleaded.

Elliot raised his head and looked at the ceiling. She wasn't sure if he was doing it to hide his tears or out of desperation.

"I'm sorry Liv, but I can't. It's too late now. I can't be around you like that anymore. It's unbearable"

He looked at her again, with glassy from the tears eyes

"Elliot what are you saying?" she said stunned.

"I'm sorry" he repeated only and turned to walk away.

"Elliot, please!" she begged, her own tears starting to escape her eyes. But he didn't stop and Liv remained staring at the empty doorstep.

"_Mommy will you sing to me?"_

"_No Olivia go away"_

"_Mommy, please? Our song?"_

"_I said no Olivia! Now move, you're in my way"_

She looked at her watch. 11:58. She averted her look from outside the window were the snow was falling heavy, to her bump. She placed both hands on it and caressed it softly.

"Now that's mommy's New Year resolution kiddo. I will love you and I will try to make you happy in every way possible. I promise that. I'll always be there for you… Always."

She looked at her watch again. 12:00. She could now hear the fireworks that were lighting up the white, from the snow sky.

"Happy New Year baby." She whispered.

"I hope that I will never let you down. I'll try my best, I promise."

_**I have to be honest, I enjoyed a little ( well a lot :P) **_**_writing about Elliot punching Dean and given the chance, there would be another scene like that on another chapter :p._**

**_Where are they going to go from here? Up next, someone you would never imagine, helps Olivia realize some important things..._**

**_So I might not be able to update until Tuesday because I'm going to Paris! *Jumps up and down cheering* But I'll try I promise, if I find an internet connection! _**

**_Don't forget to review! I always love to hear what you think of the story and if you'd like to see something on it!_**

**_Until the next update,_****_ Au revoir! :D_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**I'm back! Sorry for not updating sooner but although I had an internet connection I faced some trouble with Word so... Anyway , Paris was great, amazing, magical, but now I'm back and so so ready FOR MORE of this story! It's my favorite to write so far and that has to do big time with your amazing support!**_

_**Disclaimer:If I owned them, an episode would be dedicated on a very very romantic and so much more...:P week that El and Liv would spent to Paris!**_

* * *

She made her way slowly to the door. She opened it to reveal a very concerned looking Alex.

"Liv, how are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine Alex." Olivia said starting to walk back to the couch were she was laying before Alex knocked her door, with a blanket over her.

"Like hell you are" the blonde attorney said firmly and followed her inside were Olivia had already laid back on the couch covering herself with the blanket again.

"Olivia what's going on?" Alex asked again.

Olivia turned to look at her. Her expression was so worried and Olivia didn't blame her. She would be worried as hell too, to walk in and find her friend looking as awful as she knew she looked right now.

Almost a month had gone by since New Year's Eve and she and Elliot hadn't exchanged a single word. She had contemplated a lot of times to go and find him, talk to him but she was afraid. Afraid to even look at him, afraid that he would say again that he loved her, afraid that he would maybe just close the door on her face and how could she possibly hold it together after something like that?

So she buried the temptation to go and find him, deep inside her and tried to focus on other things instead. At first, it was easy. She let Alex and Casey more than once, to drag her to the stores for baby clothes and stuff or maternity clothes for her. She took regular walks on the park or around the city, she even had Fin and Munch to come to her house some times. But as the time went by, she found it harder and harder to focus on things without thinking and missing Elliot. Not to mention the fact that she could hardly do ten steps top, without having to sit down because of how tired she felt. And if that wasn't enough, the nausea and vomit was back and she also had started losing weight instead of gaining.

Her doctor had said that all those were symptoms of the diabetes but that didn't make it easier or less scary for Olivia. There were mornings that she would spent them entirely on her bed, because of the fatigue or because she would have thrown up so many times that she could barely stand afterwards.

Alex and Casey occasionally stopped by, but their work was hectic and unpredictable from time to time and seeing how Olivia had stopped joining them for lunch dates and shopping sprees, since she barely left her apartment anymore, the times they met had become fewer and farther apart.

And now, the more Alex was taking in Olivia's appearance the more guilty she felt for not being there more often for her friend.

"Liv what…" she started saying only to be interrupted by Olivia's sudden rise from the couch, with her hand in front of her mouth. Alex stood up and followed her into the bathroom where she emptied what little was left on her stomach. She then leaned against the wall with an exhausted look on her face. Alex kneeled beside her and started rubbing her back smoothly. A tear fell down on Olivia's cheek but she wiped it away quickly.

"Damn hormones" she muttered "I'm sorry you had to see this" she turned to Alex who was still rubbing her back

"Liv, why on earth are you apologizing? Come on let's get you back to the couch".

Alex helped Olivia up from the bathroom floor and led her back to the living room and the couch where Olivia fought a bit to find a comfortable position. Alex smiled slightly.

"God, you got big. Although not so big as I remembered you from the last time I saw you, two weeks ago. Liv what the hell happened, did you lose weight? She said frowning.

Olivia nodded but waved as if it was nothing.

"It's because of the diabetes but believe me it's the least of my concerns right now. Not being able to get out of the bed in the morning and rushing every half an hour to the bathroom to throw up, now that really bites me off" she said forcing a small smile but Alex shook her head.

"You should have called. You know that I or Casey would have…"

Again Olivia shook her head.

"I'm managing. It's fine, Alex, really. You and Casey both have demanding jobs and you are not my babysitters"

"Yes but we are your friends. What about Elliot?"

Olivia's posture changed immediately on the sound of his name. She lowered her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, totally avoiding eye contact with Alex, something that didn't go unnoticed by her.

"Liv" she said quietly, "Something happened with Elliot?"

Olivia bit her lip trying to hold back her tears. And suddenly all the emotions she was feeling since New Year's Eve where she watched Elliot turning his back to her and leaving, the desperation, the fear, the guiltiness, added to the fatigue and exhaustion of the past weeks, it all became too much to handle on her own. She needed to talk to someone.

"Alex" she said finally, her tears now running freely down her cheeks "I think I screwed up big time"

After confessing everything to Alex, she wiped her now red and puffy from the tears eyes and sighed.

"I am questioning myself everyday if I made the right decision" she turned and looked at Alex who this whole time was listening patiently without interrupting her.

"Liv, honestly, I don't know. Your relationship with Elliot had been very complicated from the moment I met you"

"That's the understatement of the year" Olivia mumbled and Alex let out a small laugh. She examined Olivia's sad expression for a minute.

"What does your heart says Liv?" she asked quietly afterwards. Olivia sighed and brought her forehead to rest against her hand.

"I love Elliot in more ways than one. As my best friend, as a brother and… that night brought to the surface feelings that were buried deep down… they are strong but I don't know if they are strong enough to hold a relationship to this point in my life"

"Elliot thinks so."

Olivia did not respond, she just looked at her friend, who had a sincere look in her eyes.

"Look Liv, you need time and that's fine. You have a lot on your plate right now, even without the whole thing with Elliot. Just try and take care of yourself and your baby girl"

Olivia looked at Alex with glassy eyes and a bitter smile.

"Oh God, she's not even born yet and I'm letting her down! I'm going to be a terrible mother" she said shaking her head.

"Now, you know that's not true. So just drop all the disturbing thoughts for a while, and let's talk about something exciting"

Olivia huffed. "Like what?"

"Like baby names!" Alex said with an excited tone

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Come on Liv, don't tell me you haven't thought of any!"

"I had actually" she admitted and Alex's eyes lightened up

"So, spill!"

Olivia laughed softly, and the baby inside her kicked, like she was feeling her mother's change of mood. She placed her hand on her stomach and went on chatting with Alex, feeling significantly lighter.

* * *

She opened the box, grabbed a spoon from the sink and took a bite. She closed her eyes and chewed slowly, savoring every second of it.

She lately had found out that lemon pie was one of the things that she could keep down. She had walked in on a pastry shop, seeking for some sweet comfort and the first thing its smell hit her nose was a lemon pie. And though it came as a surprise to her as she always hated lemons, she didn't complain, especially when the pie had managed to stay down, contrary to many other foods lately.

So now, when she was feeling up to it, she could go outside and pick up some lemon pie, always picking some extra pieces knowing that probably the days to come would be spent into the apartment and only there.

She took another bite and she was about to move on the living room and enjoy the remaining pie on the comfort of her couch, when the buzzer went off. Still with the pie in hand she went to see who was there and she almost dropped the plate, when the face of Helena Jenkins appeared on the small screen.

"Yes?" she asked with a hesitant voice

"Um, Olivia it's me, Helena Jenkins. Can I come up? I'd like to talk to you for a bit, if that's ok."

Olivia stared at the screen with a disbelieving look. Her voice sounded sincere and from what she could see, her posture almost… humble?

From curiosity more than anything, she buzzed her in. She dropped the plate on the kitchen counter beside her and went to open the door.

After a minute, Helena walked out from the elevator and came and stood in front of Olivia, which had her arms crossed in almost a defensive manner above her stomach. Helena took notice of that and offered a shy smile, startling Olivia even further. Since when Helena Jenkins had a shy shell on her body? Was she up to something?

"Olivia, I know I'm the last person you wanted to see right now, but I had to come. The last time we met I was awful to you, hell, I've been awful to you every time I've seen you this year and I really wanted to apologize" she said with a calm tone, nothing like the fake sweet demeanor Olivia had experienced in all their previous meetings.

"Well, I can't say that I'm not surprised. You didn't seem so worry about being awful the last time I saw you, or like you stated, in every single one of our meetings" she said sternly but with a voice that was indicating that she was open for a conversation.

Helena sighed hard and for the first time, Olivia noticed something else in her eyes, except from remorse and guiltiness, she noticed sorrow and that's what probably made her nod for Helena to come in.

She closed the door behind her and walked into her living room where she nodded towards an armchair and she settled to the couch.

"You were right the last time Olivia. I was a bitch to you because I just couldn't face how shitty my life was. My husband was cheating on me, I was feeling neglected all the time. And then I see you, about to have the one thing I wanted more than anything, a baby and without even trying. I was being so mean to you because I needed to believe it myself that you were doing it wrong and that the time for me would come soon and I will do it perfectly. I was so jealous, my life was falling apart in front of my very eyes and I desperately needed something to hang on" she admitted with an honesty that startled Olivia even further.

"What changed now?" she asked, even though she suspected the answer.

"I got a divorce and for the first time in my life I am ready to fully take matters in my own hands. I am good at my job and I really want to start a family on my own, even without a husband." Helena had a determined look in her eyes and Olivia could not help but smile.

"So will you please forgive me? I know that I've been a completely bitch to you and you have every right not to…"

"Helena stop." Olivia raised her hand to interrupt her and Helena stared at her anxiously. Olivia smiled some more.

"It's ok. I forgive you. I really do. And I'm glad that you managed to make things better for yourself because you deserve it"

A relieved smile crept on Helena's lips.

"Olivia, thank you. It means a lot. You are truly a great person and you're going to be an amazing mother I'm sure"

Olivia's smile grew wider.

"Thanks, Helena. So, do you want me to bring you anything? I have some great lemon pie."

"Oh no thanks I'm fine. Um, lemon pie Olivia? I thought you hated lemons" Helena chuckled

"Wow, how do you know?" Olivia asked surprised.

"Well, I guess the whole school knows, since that time Robert Dense put lemon in your food because you called him an asshole in front of the entire cafeteria. You freaked, remember?" Helena giggled and Olivia laughed too at the memory

"Oh God, yes. Well I guess pregnancy does weird things to a woman. Besides, it's from the little things I am able to keep down" she said pulling a face and Helena looked at her confused.

"How come? I thought that sickness lasted only throughout the first trimester…"

"Um, diabetes." Olivia said uncomfortably and Helena's eyes grew wide.

"Oh Liv, I'm sorry I didn't…." but Olivia waved her hand

"It's fine, it's kind of annoying but it's not that bad"

"Still you have to be careful. You'll need extra help and seeing…" Helena stopped knowing that probably the subject of the absence of the baby's father was sensitive. "Well at least, you have that friend of yours, Elliot? The handsome one that came at the reunion?" Helena winked.

Olivia felt her heart drop. She wasn't ready to discuss Elliot with anyone besides her close friends.

"Um yeah he helps but I manage on my own as well its good really" she fibbed swaying uncomfortably on her seat.

"You are so lucky to have a man like that by your side Olivia. The way he looked at you on the reunion, all this love in his eyes, not to mention lust…" Helena said with a sigh and flashed a cheeky grin at Olivia.

"Um…. What? No, no you are wrong… we…ah, we are just friends" Olivia tried hard not to stammer but it wasn't so easy.

"Come on Liv, don't tell me you haven't notice! The man adores you! It's obvious from a hundred miles away!"

Olivia couldn't help but look Helena stunned. It was one thing to hear from her friends that knew them for so many years that there's more than friendship between her and Elliot and a whole another to hear it from someone who had seen them together only once.

" You are so lucky to have such a good man in your life, Olivia, it is very random nowadays. And it doesn't matter that he's not the father of your child, I'm sure that he'll be a thousand times better than the biological one." Helena continued gently, seemingly oblivious on how stunned her words were making Olivia feel.

" Um, I don't know… I guess…" she managed to form at last.

" Well don't waste any more time here Liv! He's a catch! You deserve all the happiness you can get" Helena said with a gentle smile.

Although her heart was pounding like crazy, Olivia managed a small smile.

"Um we'll see" she said offering a small smile, thinking that she was probably sounding really pathetic. Helena smiled again and rose from her chair.

"Well I don't want to keep you any longer." She said and Olivia raised slowly too. They walked silently to the door. Before Helena stepped out, she turned to Olivia

"Will I see you around?" she asked expectantly.

"Sure Helena I'd like that" Olivia said with a genuine smile.

"Bye for now then, Olivia. Take care" Helena said and with a last smile she exited the apartment.

Olivia closed the door behind her and let out a deep sigh. Later this evening, she tossed and turned to her bed, unable to fall asleep. Frustrated, she raised her tired body from the bed and walked through the quiet dark apartment to the kitchen. She took out the remaining lemon pie from the fridge, grabbed a fork and took a few bites, leaning on the kitchen counter. Her eyes fell on her fridge and more specifically to a picture that was there, a picture that she was carefully avoiding to lay eyes on but she also didn't find the courage to take off from where it was.

She looked at herself and Elliot smiling happily at the camera. The photo was taken at the precinct's Christmas party about a year ago and it was one of Liv's favorite because they both look so genuinely happy. Tears starting to well up in her eyes and she dropped the plate with the pie to the sink to wipe them away.

"Damn it Elliot, how did we end up like this?" she muttered and the baby chose that moment to kick her hard on the ribs. She rubbed her stomach with a sad smile.

"I know baby, I know…. I screwed up" she whisper trying to wipe away the tears that were now running freely down on her face. Her baby girl moved inside her and Olivia hugged her stomach, needing more than ever the contact with the small life growing inside her.

"But I will make things right, I promise. I will make it right for both of us" Olivia said with determination.

_**What will happen now? Will Liv find the courage and talk to Elliot?**_

_**Coming up Liv is in for some big surprises...Brace yourselves... Cause the best are yet to come!**_

_**Since then, review! Even if it's a death threat :P **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I hit the 100 review mark! I would like to thank every one of you who is taking time to write a review for my story, it truly means so much! Every review puts a wide smile to my face really.**_

_**So I'd like to thank some of my regular reviewers RenVictoria, ElandLiv-InaHeartBeat, Jennifer Catlin DiNozzo, Elliotandoliviababies, skyesmommy, SoLetsPlayDoctorBabe, Sydbey, svugirl4eva and especially Amanda4Meloni who had supported me so far in each and every story I wrote! Girl you are the best! **_

_**Really people thanks a lot, keep reviewing and telling me what you think!**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned them, SVU would be on EVERY DAY. **_

_**The song is Set Fire To The Rain by the amazing Adele. I just thought it suit the occasion so I threw it in :P**_

_**Also the 26th is almost here people! I **_**_seriously cant wait!_**

* * *

The snow was falling heavily on Manhattan this morning and Olivia cursed under her breath when she got out of her building. She rubbed her hands together to keep them warm and walked down the street to hail a cub. Thirty minutes later, after enduring the horrible traffic the blizzard had caused, she got to Elliot's building.

She walked steadily inside, but when she reached his apartment and was ready to knock on his door, her hand was trembling. Taking a deep breath, she knocked. She waited for some minutes and when nothing happened, she knocked again.

"El?" she said carefully.

Last night she had talked with Fin who had mentioned that Elliot had taken the next day off and so Olivia grabbed the opportunity to go and find him. But now, when he wasn't answering the door, a bad feeling was rising up her throat.

"El, it's me, Olivia. Listen, I know that I'm not your favorite person at the moment, but please open the door. I really need to talk to you and I'm sure you want to hear what I have to say. Elliot, please?" she plead and knocked again, louder this time.

Suddenly the door of the apartment next to Elliot's opened, and an old lady appeared. She looked at Olivia.

"Are you looking for Mr Stabler?" she asked gently.

" Yeah, do you know if he's inside?" Olivia asked, the bad feeling still making her heart pound like crazy.

"I'm afraid no, dear. And he won't be coming back for a while"

"Um, what do you mean for a while. Like tomorrow?" Olivia sounded desperate and the old lady looked at her sympathetically.

"No sweetheart. He left and he won't be back for a couple of weeks"

Olivia felt her breathing fastening and her heart ready to jump out of her chest with how fast it was going.

"Did he… did he say where he's going to be?" she asked almost pleading.

"No I'm sorry dear. But he mentioned that he was going to a trip. Out of state probably."

"What?" Olivia asked petrified

"Yes that's all he said"

Olivia not able to stand there any longer she nodded absently to the lady and walked away slowly.

She exited the building and stood in the middle of the pavement, a blank stare in her eyes. People were walking past her, one or two of them almost bumped into her but Olivia didn't move a muscle. She just repeated the words again and again to her head.

_Gone._

_For a couple of weeks._

_Out of the state._

_He left._

_Because of me obviously._

_Breathe. Just remember to breathe._

"Ma'am are you ok?"

She jumped and turned to see a man looking at her concerned. She then realized that she must have been an odd scene, standing like that frozen, in the middle of the street, 8 and half months pregnant.

"Um yeah thanks" she said and started to walk away from Elliot's building. A cold air started blowing, taking away the snow that had come and stood to her shoulders and head while she was standing still. She had walked some meters when she felt a pain shooting through her abdomen. She gasped momentary.

_Damn the timing for Braxton Hicks. _She thought and decided that she had been exposed enough to the frozen weather for a day so she hailed a cab that was passing.

"You're lucky Ma'am, some time later and you'll had to walk home"

"What? Why?" Olivia asked, her mind still not cooperating fully with anything else except from the thought of Elliot. Somewhere far away. Far away from her.

"The blizzard's about to get worse, they'll have all the streets closed till later" the taxi driver explained.

Forty-five minutes later into the terrible Manhattan traffic, Olivia was back to her apartment. She kicked her boots off and threw her coat and gloves on an armchair. Then with slow steps she went and sat on the couch. Her stare flew around the room as if she was seeing it for the first time. Another pain in her abdomen came and took her out of her exploration. She cursed under her breath as the baby chose that moment to also kick her hard. She brought her hand on her stomach and caressed it smoothly.

"Restless aren't you? Or are you trying to tell me something? Because if you're trying to tell me that I'm an idiot, thank you very much sweetheart, I already know."

She sighed softly and brought her body into lying position and sank her head deep into the couch pillows.

She still hadn't fully contemplated what had happened. She played again and again on her mind the events of previously this morning. Herself knocking on Elliot's door again and again. The old lady coming out and talking to her, telling her something about Elliot not being there. Something about him being gone for the next couple of weeks. No, that couldn't be right. The lady must have misunderstood. She reached for her cell from the table near her and dialed Fin's number. She didn't have to wait long for him to pick up.

"_Hey Liv"_. His voice sounded strange or was it her imagination?

"Hey Fin, can I ask you something, Elliot took just this day off right? Did he mention if he was gonna visit his kids or…"

"_Liv…" _His voice was certainly strange.

"Yeah?" she asked as flatly as she could.

"_Cragen told me just now, Elliot will take some weeks off unpaid. Cragen said that he mentioned about going on a trip out of the state…" _

"Oh" _Breathe, remember to breathe. _"Did he say where or how long…"

"_Sorry Liv no. Look why don't you call him yourself? I know that things weren't peachy between you two later but I'm sure…"_

"Will do that. Thanks Fin" she was fast to interrupt him.

"_I'll be at the precinct until later, if you need anything with the blizzard and all…"_

" Yeah yeah sure Fin, thanks" she tried to sound confident. Except she wasn't. Anything but.

"_Ok we'll talk later Liv, take care"_

"Sure bye."

She hang up and stayed to stare at her phone for some minutes.

She couldn't call. She just couldn't. Not possible. No way.

All the courage that she had gathered to go and talk to him that morning was now gone. Gone far away from here, just like him. Just like that.

Suddenly she felt extremely tired. She let her eyes drifting shut. The hand with which she was holding her cell, dropped on her side and she slowly fell into an uneasy sleep.

With her eyes still closed, she let her other senses explore what was going on around her. The sounds of the city had vanished. She could only hear the sound of waves and a pleasant breeze surrounding her. She took a deep breath and the smell of an autumn rain filled her. From somewhere far, she could hear a melody filling the air. And then she felt his strong arms around her waist, his hot breath into her ear.

"Do you trust me?"

There was no question to that, she could trust him with her life. So she nodded, her eyes still shut. He then guided her slowly to where the melody was coming

_I let it fall, my heart_

_And as it fell, you rose to claim it_

_It was dark and I was over_

_Until you kissed my lips and you saved me_

_My hands, they're strong_

_But my knees were far too weak_

_To stand in your arms_

_Without falling to your feet._

She finally opened her eyes. He was standing in front of her smiling.

"You're here" she said. He nodded

"I'm here"

She stepped closer and let her hands caress his face, trace his features. She looked deeply into his sparkling blue eyes.

"I'm sorry. For everything" She whispered

_'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew_

_All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true_

_And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win_

He raised his hand and placed it on her lips.

"Don't be"

A flash light up the sky and then rain started pouring slowly at first, more rapidly then. Elliot brought her close and hugged her tight. She buried her head on the crook of his neck. He rubbed her back softly

"Shhh it's alright Liv" he hummed "Be strong"

_Sometimes I wake up by the door_

_Now that you've gone, must be waiting for you_

_Even now when it's already over_

_I can't help myself from looking for you_

The warmth of his touch was gone and Olivia looked around on the seaside. The rain was blurring her vision. She finally found him standing close to where the waves where crashing. She walked to him. He turned and looked at her with sorrow.

"I'm cold. And wet." she said trying not to cry. But he didn't move to touch her again. He suddenly started to move away from her.

"Elliot. Elliot no" she cried in horror

_I set fire to the rain_

_And I threw us into the flames_

_Where I felt somethin' die_

_Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh_

"It's ok Liv. It's alright. You can do it" his voice echoed on her ears.

"I need you" she yelled but he was gone and she was standing alone.

The seaside vanished and darkness surrounded her. She was still feeling wet and cold. She trembled and managed to open her filled with tears eyes. She was lying on her couch and it seemed like the sun had set a long time now. She tried to move but something didn't feel right. And then a sharp pain shot through her. She gasped and placed her hands on her abdomen. Her mind froze. She patted the couch behind her legs and her breathing became rapid.

_No, no this cannot happen now_

With trembling hands she reached for her cell that was lying beneath her. She dialed the first number that came to her mind.

"Alex?" she said her voice trying as steady as she could manage.

"_Liv? What's going on?"_

Another pain stroke and she gasped.

"Alex, he's gone, Elliot's gone. And I'm…" she took a deep breath and gathered all her strength

"And I'm in labor" she finally said, a sob escaping her lips.

_**Uh oh! Could things go worse? Elliot's gone to God knows were, Liv is in labor in the middle of a blizzard... What on earth is going to happen next?**_

_**Well I would likely wanted to hit myself if I read that but review! Love you all ( I am kind of bribing you here:P) kate :P**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**The next chapter is here...! Thanks a lot again to **_**_everyone who took time to review! I appreciate it so much!_**

**_Disclaimer: No, nope they weren't sent to me as a very early Christmas gift or a very late birthday present...:P_**

**_Also ALMOST A DAY TILL THE BIG PREMIERE!_**

* * *

"_Oh God Liv. Where are you?"_

"Home. I just woke up and feeling uneasy and I saw that my waters had broke." She shifted on her seat as she eyed again the wet couch.

" _Liv oh my. The roads are all closed."_

"What?"

"_Because of the blizzard. "_

"But I have to go to the hospital. I…I...Oh God Alex!" Her voice grew more panicky every second.

"_Listen to me. I'll be there as fast as I can. I'll walk. It's not that far. And I'll call Casey. She's at the precinct with Fin right now. I'll have them both come at your place. The precinct is not that far from there either."_

"Oh ok, thank you Alex" Olivia said trying to hold a calm composure.

"_Everything is going to be fine Liv. Hold on there. We'll be there in thirty minutes top"_

She hung up the phone and started taking deep breaths. Don't panic. You have to remain calm. Don't think that you're alone in your home, in labor with no means to get to a hospital and the only person that you truly feel safe around gone. Just don't think any of that and you'll be ok.

She rose from the couch slowly and started to walk in circles into the small living room.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it" she suddenly yelled and kicked a chair. Tears started running down on her face.

Thirty minutes later after she had walked up and down the apartment a good three times, there was a knock on her door.

"Liv? Liv it's Alex"

"Coming" she said between stifled tears.

She open the door, to find Alex, Casey, Fin and Melinda with worried looks on her faces. They didn't wait for an invitation, they just emerged in.

"Liv, how's it going" Alex reached immediately for her friend.

"Um ok, I didn't have a contraction since the moment I woke, about half an hour ago, which means that I still have time…Maybe I'll manage to make it to the hospital" She said as she let Alex lead her sit on an armchair.

" I called, they said there ain't any available ambulances and they wont be for the next hours 'cause except from the fact that all the roads are closed, there had been an accident on Broadway str" Fin said and Olivia's eyes grew wide

"Oh God great…" she mumbled

"Let's just not worry about it now…" Alex shot Fin a warning look. "Why don't we get you a bit more comfortable Liv. Why don't we go help you change into something else and then go lie on your bed?" she asked and Liv nodded and stood up slowly supporting with a hand her back.

"Yeah but I don't need help, it's fine" she said as she started walking towards her bedroom, when she suddenly stopped and grabbed her stomach gasping

" Ohhh! Shit. Another contraction." She mumbled

"They are still a lot farther apart, you have time ahead of you" Melinda said stepping closer to Olivia who was leaning at the doorframe of her bedroom. She turned to look at her a bit curiously

"Not that I'm not entirely grateful that a medical expert is here right now, but how on earth you came?"

"She was at the precinct when Alex called, so she came with us" Casey interrupted and Olivia nodded.

"Ok let's get you down now Liv" Melinda said and lead her into the bedroom.

With the help of her friends, Olivia changed into a large t-shirt and laid on the bed covered with a blanket.

"You don't mind me checking down there to see how dilated you are?" Melinda asked.

Olivia shook her head and Melinda leaned between her legs

"You are only two centimeters dilated Liv, you have a long way to go" she said

"Good to know" Olivia said unimpressed.

Alex came and sat next to her in the bed

"Is there anything else we can bring you?"

"No Alex I'm fine, it's enough that you are here" Olivia said with a grateful smile.

"Liv we could never leave you like that, you know that. Now why don't you try and get some sleep, you'll need the strength." Casey said and came to sit too onto the bed.

Olivia's mind flew back to the dream she had and shook her head vividly

"No, no I'm good… I can't… I just can't sleep right now" she said, trying not to reveal how upset she felt. But Alex and Casey sensed it and look at her worriedly

"Liv what happened? On the phone you said something about Elliot but I totally forgot after you said that you're in labor" Alex said quietly, for only Casey and Olivia to hear.

"It's nothing, it's just…" Olivia voice trailed off as she shot a glance towards Fin's and Melinda's direction ,who were talking quietly, standing on the doorframe. Fin sensed Olivia's eyes on him and placing a hand on Melinda's shoulder she lead her to continue their conversation on the hall.

Once they were out of earshot, Olivia smirked.

"What's with those two? What Melinda was doing at the precinct at this time anyway?"

"Fin kind of mumbled something about a date, but I guess that's not happening now" Casey said with a teasy smile

"Yeah I guess I rained all over their parade now…" Olivia sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Liv don't think about that now, and don't change the subject. Tell us what happened with Elliot?" Alex's tone was serious.

"What's there to say Alex? I finally realized what a total idiot I am and I went to find him and talk to him, only to learn that he's gone"

Casey's and Alex's eyes grew wide in surprise.

"Um gone how Liv? What do you mean?" Alex asked confused. Olivia let out a bitter laugh.

"I guess he finally had enough of my bullshit and he decided to go on a trip. For some weeks. Out of the state. Great timing isn't it? I finally get my act together and he's…gone" Olivia couldn't help it anymore. She let her tears run down freely. Casey leaned forwards and rubbed her shoulder. Olivia continued to cry in silent sobs. Alex leaned too and pushed some strands of her from her face.

"Shhh Liv, please don't do this to yourself now. We'll deal with it later, ok? Now all you have to worry is the labor ok?" She said in a soothing tone as she wiped some of her friend's tears away. Olivia nodded silently but then her face turned into a grimace and she let out a moan.

"Ohhhh another one. God that was more intense." She said taking deep breaths. "Anyway, you're right. I can't afford now to think about him."

* * *

Two hours passed and Olivia's contractions were now coming more and more close to each other and they were being more intense. Although she didn't want to admit it to her friends, she was scared, she was very scared. The blizzard was worsening and no ambulance could reach them.

When another contraction finished, Olivia threw her head back to the pillow panting hard.

"You are almost four centimeters dilated now Liv" Melinda said as she had leaned again to check her.

"That's good right? I mean… we still have time… I might make it to a hospital after all…" Olivia said with hope in her tired voice.

"We're doing our best Liv ok? You try and stay calm and focused ok?" Fin said reassuringly. Olivia nodded tiredly.

Fin exited the room with Melinda and Alex on his feet. Casey stayed inside sitting on Olivia's bedside, comforting her.

As soon as they reached the living room, Fin had a dark expression on his face.

"How bad is it?" Alex asked.

"The accident on Broadway was bad, and every available help is still there, they wont get on the street anything else for any reason" he said shaking his head.

"She has still a good four or more hours to go, I'm going to do my best but I won't say that home-birth isn't risky" Melinda said seriously. They fell into an uneasy silence. Alex was the first to break it.

"Did anyone, um, called Stabler?" she asked carefully.

"Tried to, couple of times, I also sent a message that Liv's in labor, but he won't answer." Fin said slightly angry.

"Am I missing something here? I didn't want to ask in front of Liv, in case something was wrong between them, which from what I understand now, it obviously is" Melinda asked curiously.

" Neither of them will admit it, but something bad happened. From what I'm getting they haven't spoken in almost a month." Fin said darkly.

" That's one hell of a time they chose." Melinda exclaimed sarcastically.

"Yeah Stabler's timing was always fucking fantastic" Fin scowled.

Alex had remained silent through the entire conversation. Even though she knew exactly how things went down, and she understood that Olivia had probably made some mistakes, she couldn't help but feel angry at Elliot's attitude at the moment. Without any word she went back into Olivia's bedroom. Casey was comforting Olivia through another contraction. Alex went closer to the bed and whipped gently Olivia's sweaty forehead.

" You're doing great Liv" she cooed.

Two more hours passed. Alex, Casey, Fin and Melinda all took turns into comforting and encouraging Olivia through the contractions who were know coming almost every five minutes.

" I am never, ever doing this again. Not at least without some very strong painkillers" Olivia exclaimed panting fast and whipping away her sweaty bangs. " Alex, also remind me not to go into labor again the very day that I have not access to a hospital."

Alex laughed a bit. "Duly noted."

But she could read behind Olivia's sarcastic remarks that she was scared senseless. And beside their very best efforts to keep her calm, only one person could achieve that. So she decided that at least she owned her friend a try.

She left the room quietly and went to grab her coat and gloves. Casey noticed her and came close to her.

"Where are you heading?"

"I'm going down to use the payphone for a minute." Alex replied zipping her coat up. Casey shot her a confused look

"Your phone has no signal?"

"It has but I doubt that the person I want to call will answer if he knows who I am" she said as she reached for the door.

"Let me guess. Stabler" Casey said a-matter-of-factly. Alex gave her a small nod and emerged from the apartment.

Cursing under her breath and rubbing her hands together to provide them from freezing, she waited for Eliot to pick up the phone. Finally there was a sound and a tired voice was heard from the other side of the line.

"_Stabler"_

"Elliot is Alex."

"_Alex? From where are you calling?"_

"From a payphone. Elliot you don't need me to tell you why I'm calling. Where are you?"

She heard him muttering something and then he let out a deep sigh.

"_Alex I am… I'm not in New York."_

"Damn it Elliot why did you pick now to run away?" Alex was not able to hide her frustration.

"_How's Liv holding up?"_

"There's a blizzard so no ambulance is able to move. She's at her home."

"_Wait she's giving birth at her apartment? With no medical help?" _The panic in his voice was obvious.

"Melinda is here but there's only so much she can do. Elliot she's… scared. She's putting on a brave face for us but she's scared to death. A lot of things can go wrong in situations like this."

She could hear that he had stood up from where he was sitting and he was pacing up and down. He wasn't speaking, so she went on.

"Elliot she needs you. She needs you and no one else. So please tell me that the whole I'm-not-in-New York thing is a lie and you're hiding somewhere in Manhattan?"

"_Alex I'm sorry but I'm really not in New York. I couldn't stay, it was killing me, I needed some time and space to clear my mind. But I love her, Alex. I'm madly in love with her and nothing can change that."_

Even though she was pretty sure before that this was the case, his confession startled her. It was the desperation, the deep emotion in his voice that made her almost feel sorry for him.

"Elliot I'm sorry that things turned out like that, but you really need to come back. She came looking for you, she wanted to talk, to make things right between you but you were gone."

More silence from his side of the line.

"_Alex… I can't. I'm sorry but I can't. Just let me know when she has the baby ok?"_

"I will" Alex said defeated.

"_And Alex?"_

"Yes Elliot?"

"_Take care of her."_

"Don't worry. I will"

She closed the phone and stepped inside the building again with slow steps.

The first thing she heard when Casey opened to her the door of the apartment, was Olivia's loud moan. Casey looked at her expectedly but Alex just shook her head. Casey's face dropped. She followed silently Alex to Olivia's bedroom.

"They're coming every three minutes top." Melinda informed them as soon as they got in.

" How much dilated is she?" Alex asked

"Almost seven centimeters." She said a she placed the blanket again over Olivia's legs. Olivia moaned again in pain.

"I… don't… know if…I can… do this" she said between deep breaths.

"Liv you are doing great, just hold on, it won't be long" Alex said encouragely but her friend shook her head. She lifted her head and looked at her. Tears were running down her cheeks. She was exhausted, overly emotional and scared senseless. The face of Elliot came to her mind, smiling to her, whispering comforting words. That only made her cry harder.

" I need him… I didn't realize how much until now. I need him because… I love him, I love him so much it hurts!" Another contraction shot through her body and she yelled.

"I'm scared, I'm terribly scared that something might go wrong and my baby girl won't be ok…" she said taking swallow breaths.

"Liv don't think like that…" Fin said leaning beside her with a calm tone.

Olivia reached and grabbed Alex's hand who had emerged to her side the moment she had started crying.

"Alex promise me… promise me that you'll take care of her…"

"Liv please don't…" Alex started saying, feeling her own tears threatening to escape her eyes but Olivia squeezed her hand tighter to interrupt her.

"Promise me" she said as steady as she could. " I want to hear you say it."

Her brown eyes met her friend's crystal blue ones in an intense moment.

"I promise Liv" she said with a strangled voice.

Olivia gave her a small smile but it was short-lived as another contraction came. She shut her eyes and squeezed Alex's hand hard. Alex squeezed it back, exchanging a look with an also teary eyed Casey.

* * *

It was a little over four o' clock in the morning. The blizzard had abated, but a strong wind was making the windows creaking.

Melinda stood up. A smile had crept on her face.

"Ten centimeters Liv. It's time."

Olivia's eyes grew wide. She could feel her heart pumping rapidly. Alex moved on her one side and held her hand tight. Casey went on the other and did the same.

"That's it Liv, you're going to meet your little girl" Alex whispered.

"Now on the next contraction, I want you to push Liv ok?" Melinda said as she had bent again between Olivia's legs. Fin was standing upright behind Casey. Olivia nodded, and as she felt her muscles tightening, the pain starting to shoot over her body, she took a deep breath and for the first time in her life, she prayed, she prayed to every God that was, for her baby girl to be born safe. And then she pushed, a loud scream escaping from her lips.

"That's good Liv, that's very good. Take a deep breath and push again" Melinda said.

A few minutes, a lot pushes and screaming later, Olivia let her head fall back to the pillows. She was trembling from exhaustion, tears were falling down her eyes.

"I… I can't do this" she mumbled.

"Liv, you're doing great, come on a few more pushes and then your beautiful baby will be here." Casey encouraged her and wiped the sweaty bangs off her forehead.

"The head is crowning Liv, come on I need a big push now" Melinda coached her.

Olivia squeezed her friend's hands hard and pushed moaning.

"I can see the head Liv, that's it" Melinda said

She pushed again and almost crushed Alex's and Casey's hands on her own.

"The head is out Liv keep going" Melinda coached.

She felt the contraction coming and pushed with all her might, again.

" I need you to push one more time, one big push and your baby girl will be here, you can do it sweetheart" Melinda encouraged her.

Olivia gathered every bit of strength that she had left, closed her eyes and prayed one more time to anyone who was listening. And then she pushed, screaming louder than ever. The pain was ripping her body apart, her mind was a blur, but then she heard it, the most beautiful sound of the world. Her daughter's cry. She opened her eyes to see Melinda holding with a huge smile the crying infant and her heart melt.

With trembling hands she accepted the baby girl to her willing arms. She watched for a moment the baby with amazement, that little girl who was hers, it was her daughter, and she felt whole.

"Hey baby girl, I'm your mommy" she whispered holding the baby close to her chest, needing to feel, to know that this whole thing was, indeed, real.

She let Alex take her and wrap her on a pink blanket as she delivered the placenta who Melinda immediately took and placed in a small refrigerator to get to the hospital later.

" I called again, the roads are clear at last and an ambulance is on its way" Fin said with a smile.

Olivia sighed relieved, holding tight her baby girl into her arms. She didn't want to take her eyes off her, but she had started to feel her vision getting blur and her head was spinning.

"Olivia?" she heard Melinda's concerned voice as if from far away. She tried to answer, but no sound came out, instead she felt her eyes closing, and the voices around became even more muffled.

"What's going on?"

"She lost a lot of blood!"

"Liv? Liv stay with me, please, open your eyes!"

With her daughter always firmly clutched on her chest, she surrendered into a welcoming, sweet darckness.

_**Terrible clif I know... But review and tell me what you think... That was a pretty emotional chapter for me to write and if I was a reader I would love for Elliot to be there, hell, even as a writer I contemplated it but... Sorry I know but trust me, he will make a great entrance not long from now!**_**_  
_**

_**Until the next time...Review! I Love you all! xoxo Kate**_

_**Also the next time I will update, SVU season 14 premiere will have aired and I will probably freak out about it a bit...well maybe very much... ;)**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13 is here! Thanks again to everyone who reviewed, favored etc. the story!**_

_**Ok so I will obviously take some time and freak about the season's premiere! I stayed awake till 6 am and saw it on livestream but it was SO WORTH IT! Well, it was obvious that Cassidy was in Liv's bed and was either in the shower or gone :P I **_**_don't think that Olivia just decided to drink wine from two different glasses and then to sleep naked :P Anyway, the kissing scene was so sweet! I thought it was totally controversial for Liv's character and for SVU, for a kissing scene to take place into a hospital room filled with flowers and balloons, but controversial in a very good way! Also, the consistent refers to Hayden and the fact that he quit might mean that he is coming back? :P Well, I am an EO shipper all the way, but at that point, if Elliot stays gone, I wouldn't mind for Liv to be with anyone she likes, as long as she is happy, she freaking deserves it! Also for the girl on twitter who had the bright idea to call Liv a slut just because, grow up and welcome to 2012! :P All in all, it was a fantastic episode, one of the best I've ever saw!_**

**_Enough with the rambling, but it might be some more on following chapters :P_**

**_Disclaimer: Please don't make me do this right now :P I mean, really._**

* * *

Once again, she found herself on the seaside. She was standing on a rock, watching the waves crashing beneath her. Drops of water were occasionally splashed into her face and body. She was wearing a long white dress, which was dancing with the wind. And then she felt a warm hand placed upon her shoulder. She turned her head and found Serena standing there, smiling widely to her. She smiled back.

"So you had a daughter." Serena said with calm voice. Olivia nodded.

"Yes and she is perfect. Everything I ever expected and more." Suddenly her face dropped. Serena squeezed her shoulder gently.

"What is it, my Liv?"

"What if I'm not good enough for her? What if…"

"You become like me?" Serena's smile never left her face.

"Mom I know that it was hard for you…"Olivia's voice trailed off.

"Olivia listen to me. You are nothing like me. You are strong, you always have been. I wasn't. But I loved you, I loved you so much, even though I wasn't always showing it to you" The pain was obvious in Serena's voice.

Olivia stepped closer to her mother.

" I love you too mom, so very much" she whispered. Serena smiled again.

"My Liv, my precious Liv, a mother. I am so proud of you. You did good." She raised her hand and wiped away some tears that had escaped her daughter's eyes.

" I miss you mom, I wish you'd be here to meet her" she said with sad voice. Serena caressed Olivia's soft hair.

"On your hand as it waved adieu

There were veins of blue;

In your voice as it said good-bye

Was a petulant cry" She mumbled

Olivia smiled at her mom.

"Could we live it over again,

Were it worth the pain,

Could the passionate past that is fled

Call back its dead!"

The lyrics of her mother's favorite poem came easily out of her lips.

"It's time for you to go back. Your little girl needs you" Serena held Olivia's hand tight on her own. The reminder of her daughter warmed Olivia's heart and squeezed back her mother's hand.

"But strange that I was not told…" she kept going with the lyrics of the poem as her mother figure was fading more by the second

"…That the brain can hold…" Her mother's voice echoed to her ears

"…In a tiny ivory cell…" Olivia went along with her mother's soothing voice as her figure was becoming even more distant.

"…God's heaven and hell"

A bright light flashed in front of her eyes and a strong wind blew. Olivia raised her hands protectively in front of her face and closed her eyes. She opened them a second later to find that the wind had stopped blowing , the sound of the waves was gone and the light was not so bright. She blinked sometimes, trying to take in her surroundings. She slowly started to realize that she was lying down in a bed. The room around her was bright and quiet. She looked on her side and held her breath. There she was, her daughter lying on a crib sleeping peacefully.

She slowly rose on a sitting position trying to ignore the pain and soreness that was shooting through her body. She brought the crib closer and with trembling hands she picked her daughter carefully up and held her tight into her arms. She silently stared at her some minutes, taking in every single one of her features, her tiny round nose, her rosey small mouth, the brown hair, her small soft hands that were wrapped in little punches, her chest rising and falling as she slept. Fear rose inside her for a moment, fear combined with a strange feeling of excitement, thinking that she was responsible for that tiny life and that that little girl was completely depended on her.

Her eyes flattered for a moment and then she opened them, revealing a pair of warm chocolate brown eyes, so much like her mother's. Olivia felt overwhelmed. There she was, her little girl, her little miracle.

"Hello baby girl" she cooed as her daughter stirred and start moving a bit around in her arms. " Quite a scare you gave me. I guess you have to make your entrance to the world, your way." She chuckled softly and rubbed with her finger the soft cheek of her daughter who made a small gurgling noise. She sighed and went on. " Things might be a little difficult around here at first but we'll make it through, you'll make it through right? Cause you're a fighter baby aren't you?" She moved her finger to caress the baby's small hand and gasped quietly when she wrapped it tight.

A muffled sound from the opposite corner of the room made her realize that she wasn't alone with her daughter, as she first had thought. The truth was that when she set eyes on the tiny bundle on the crib beside her, she forgot everything else, the long, painful hours that had passed, the fear, the desperation, everything vanished, the moment she saw her daughter.

But as she heard the sound she turned and saw Alex smiling at her from a chair. She smiled back too but then her eyes were on her daughter again, who was still holding tight her finger. Alex came closer and stood beside Olivia's bed smiling widely at the sight of Olivia gazing adoringly at her baby girl.

"Quite a scare you gave us all" she said.

Olivia raised her gaze up at Alex again confused for a moment, but then everything came to her mind, laying exhausted to her bed, the darkness, and then the seaside, her mother…

"What happened?" she asked finally.

"You passed out from losing too much blood. You were unconscious the whole ride here. There was a tearing, that's what caused the blood loss but they fixed it and now you're fine." Alex had a tired but a satisfied look, now that she knew that her best friend was ok.

"Everything ok with her, right?" Olivia asked a bit worried.

"Everything is good, she is perfectly healthy." Alex reassured her. "Oh, they asked us for a name but we didn't know, you haven't reached a decision the last time I asked you so…"

"Where's everyone else? I would like to thank you all guys, if it weren't for you…"

"They're waiting outside. They said that they'd wait until you'd be up so as to see you for a bit and then they'll head home."

"What about you?" Olivia asked taking in her friend's exhausted appearance. But Alex just smiled.

"I'm staying Liv, I'm not leaving you alone. Casey insisted to stay to but I talked her into going home for some hours get some rest and come again in the morning"

" Alex really you don't have to stay we're fine…" Olivia began but Alex interrupted her by shaking her head

"No way Liv I'm staying and that's final. So now, on the name?" she asked in an excited manner which made Olivia chuckle softly.

She looked again down on her daughter.

"Zoe" she said then. "Zoe Serena Benson."

Alex's eyes lit up.

"Liv that's a wonderful name…"

"Zoe, it means life in greek. And that's what this beautiful baby girl is to me. A new start. A new life" She leaned and placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead. Alex patted Olivia's shoulder.

"You did great Liv. You really did." She said quietly.

"Now are you up for some visitors? Cause I think that the guys will all love to meet properly Zoe Serena."

"Of course, tell everybody to come inside" Olivia said and her heart filled with appreciation for everything her friends did tonight for her and her daughter.

* * *

She sifted uncomfortably in the position she was lying on the couch, trying to acknowledge from where the sound was coming. After some seconds she figured it was the door being knocked and sighed heavily. The last thing she needed right now was visitors.

It had been two weeks since she had gotten home from the hospital with Zoe and by now she was feeling completely wore out and exhausted. She doubted that she had slept more than thirty hours over the whole time back. Her apartment was a total mess, the living room felt like it was in the middle of a baby stuff explosion, her kitchen was a disaster, her bedroom were she had moved the crib temporarily had every free inch filled with clothes, hers and Zoe's respectively. She had spent more than a few times trying to calm down her daughter who could cry an hour or so for no profound reason. She had come to the verge of tears herself a lot of times, desperate and utterly exhausted.

Her friends had come around, but all had demanding jobs, which forced them to cut their visits short. So now with someone knocking the door, she knew she would be happy to see a friendly face but in her state, she didn't know how much of a good idea that was. She got off the couch where she had parked herself half an hour ago, praising the small amount of time when Zoe would sleep. She winced in pain as she sat herself up, another difficulty she had to face was the amount of pain her body was on the aftermath of Zoe's difficult birth, what she knew would last a bit.

She approached the door and looked through the peephole. She was surprised to see the unfamiliar face of an old lady, probably in her late 60s, waiting outside. She unlocked her door and opened it halfway.

" How can I help you?" she asked politely. The lady shot her a smile.

"Are you Olivia Benson?"

"Yes. And you are…?" she continued still in a polite manner. The lady smiled wider.

"I am Eleanor Porter, Dean's mother. I am here to see my grandchild."

**_Dun Dun! :P The only thing I will tell you is to be alert, cause you really really don't wanna miss the next chapter!_**

**_Until then review! Oh and some of your thoughts about the premiere might be nice :) Just if you want to freak out together :P_**

**_Also did you like the name? Zoe is a name I love, it means life in greek and I just find it very hopeful :) and of course Olivia naming her daughter after her mother, is a way for her to make ends meet with her ;)_**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14 is here!**_

_**I am going to take a minute again to talk about the season's **_**_premiere. I just don't understand the whole thing about Olivia and having one guy at her bed while later she went and kissed Cassidy. From my point of view, it WAS Cassidy whom she spent the night with. And afterwards, just as in season 1, they pretend nothing happened, but you couldn't deny the tension between them! And when Liv told him that she wasn't the same person as 13 years before, she meant that this time she wasn't going to walk away from it, that this time she wanted more... And Cassidy looked surprised because he was expecting the same reaction as 13 years before. I think it's a simple explanation, but that's just me, I guess. I don't think that the writers would have Liv spent the night with another man, just for the shake of it, they haven't done it before... But anyway, I think we should all wait and see what happens and not go and freak out and try to make assumptions after just one episode. _**

**_Ok, enough with the rambling, again :P_**

**_Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine_**

* * *

Olivia looked stunned the old woman in front of her. Eleanor Porter smiled again, seemingly oblivious to Olivia's surprise and confusion.

"Your… your grandchild? I'm sorry but how exactly did you find out…?" Olivia managed to say finally.

"Well, of course, Dean told me!" Eleanor said as if she stated the obvious.

Olivia rubbed her forehead

"Ah, and what exactly did Dean tell you?" she asked in a cold manner. Eleanor Porter let out a laugh and waved her hand as if Olivia had just made a joke.

"Dean was always, how should I say it, a little… secretive about his personal life. Several months ago he had mentioned you and when I asked him about you some days ago, with a bit of persuasion from my side, he told me what happened with you two."

"He told you everything that happened?" Olivia asked, more confused.

"Well, of course dear."

"And you still thought that coming here was a good idea." Olivia raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

Eleanor Porter sighed stoically and smiled at Olivia, who didn't return the smile.

"I know that things between you and my son weren't…ideal, but you have to forgive him. You know how men freak out about those things! I'm sure that you'll give him another chance to make things right Olivia" she patted Olivia's shoulder who stood still in the door.

"I'm sorry, but your son lost his chance, the night he told me that he wanted nothing to do with me or our child. And you are coming here, trying to justify his actions… Dean had time to make up his mind, and his choice is very obvious. Does he even know you are here?" Olivia asked raising her eyebrows.

Eleanor smiled wider, much to Olivia's dismay

" Well, he doesn't, but I'm sure that after we talk, you will go and find him…"

"Find him? Me, go looking for _him?_" Olivia let out a laugh and shook her head in disbelief. " That's not going to happen. Dean is a big boy Mrs Porter. If he really wanted to do something about it, he would have. And now I'm sorry but I have a child to take care of…"

She moved to go back inside the apartment and close the door but Eleanor Porter stopped the door's movement with her hand and pushed a bit inside Olivia's apartment. Olivia turned to look at her surprised, for her stubbornness and persistence.

" I want to see my grandchild. You can't deny me that!" She almost hissed, the smile now totally lost from her face.

" I very well can. You have no legal right to force me and if you keep going I will have to arrest you for harassment. So back away from my door and leave" Olivia glared at her, with firey eyes. Eleanor snorted.

"You girl think you can do this by yourself? Please! From one look you can see that you are failing miserably."

She eyed Olivia from head to toe, her look stopping at her greasy hair, that she absolutely had no time to wash, to her oversized and a bit wore out pajama pants and then explored the messy apartment. She then turn her gaze to her with an arrogant look. Olivia felt anger boiling inside her.

"I've had enough of you lady. Get out now and don't ever think to come back. Am I clear?"

She started closing the door, almost squeezing Eleanor to the opening. Eleanor gasped and moved back. Before Olivia closed the door completely, she heard her yelling

"You won't get away with this, you manipulative little bitch! We will fight you!".

Olivia sighed hard and rubbed her forehead. Right on cue, Zoe's cries echoed from the bedroom. She quickly made her way there and picked her up from the crib. She then went to lay on the bed with Zoe on her lap.

"Hey baby, hey Zoey, what is it? Are you hungry sweetie?" she cooed as she moved her top so as to nurse her daughter. The moment Zoey latched on her breast, Olivia gazed adoringly down at her. She run a finger through her tiny soft face. Zoey looked up at her with big chocolate eyes. Olivia smiled and clutched her more tight against her chest, needing to feel the contact.

* * *

"Some nerve she's got, coming to your home and saying those things."

Olivia huffed and looked at her daughter who was asleep on her stroller. She smiled at the sight of the infant clutching tight to her small blanket and turned her attention back to Alex who was shipping her coffee frowned.

" I guess I don't have to read much into it." She said shrugging.

Two weeks had passed from the encounter with Dean's mother and there was radio silence since then. Olivia didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing, whether it meant that Eleanor Porter's threats were empty and she was just trying to intimidate her, or she was planning something and she would drop the bomb at any given minute.

She had tried not to think about it a lot, a not so difficult task with a baby to take care 24/7. But Eleanor Porter's words were stuck on the back of her mind. And so she decided to meet with Alex and discuss what happened. That, and almost a month after giving birth to Zoey, she was happy to see something different from her still messy apartment.

"I really think that it's an empty threat. If Dean doesn't want to be involved then there's nothing his mother can do." Alex said.

" I know. But… what if he does?" Olivia asked quietly. The thought was playing on her head more than she liked to admit, and now she vocalized it for the first time, to Alex.

Alex dropped her cup on the table and reached for Olivia's hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"What do you want Liv? What do you think it would be best?" she asked in a calm voice.

Olivia shook her head and gazed down at her sleeping daughter again.

"He's been so horrible from the beginning, but if he showed up now, wanting to get to know Zoey, I couldn't deny him that. Me of all people know how hard it is to grow up without a father. Me and him are over for good but he and Zoey…he's going to be her father forever." She said sadly still looking at her baby.

"But it's unlikely he will want to do anything to do with her." She resumed looking back at Alex again.

"Maybe you should go find him, talk to him…"

"No" Olivia shook her head. "If he wants, he will come" she said determinedly and Alex simply nodded, not wanting to upset her friend even further. They sat some minutes in silence while they were shipping their drinks, until Alex raised her head and spoke to Olivia with a cautious tone

"Any news from Elliot?"

Olivia took another ship from her tea before shaking her head negatively with an untraceable expression.

"Did you try to call him?"

"Plenty of times and each of them went straight to voicemail."

There was some more silence between the two friends. Olivia looked down at her daughter who stirred in her sleep and clutched her blanket even tightly. She smiled sadly and felt tears gathering in her eyelids. Before she was able to wipe them away, they rolled down her cheeks and became noticeable to Alex.

"Oh Liv" she said sympathetically and reached for her friend's hand. Olivia used her other hand to wipe the tears and sniffed.

" I look at her, I look at Zoey and I find it hard to believe how lucky I am to have her. She deserves everything. And then I think that I might took away from her, her only chance to have a dad…" her voice trailed off and more tears fell down on her cheeks.

"Liv nothing is final yet. Elliot will be back and you will talk. You will make things right."

"I let my insecurities take the best of me… I thought that I was shielding myself and Zoey from a heartbreak but I just refused us happiness…"

"Liv, hey, listen to me." Alex voice was calm but dead serious. "You will fix this. Everything would be fine."

Olivia gave her friend a small smile and wished with all her heart that she was right. Because this time, there was no room for mistakes.

* * *

She took one last look at her sleeping daughter and walked out of the room rubbing her forehead and yawning, baby monitor in hand. She slipped on the couch and sighed. She was exhausted. Zoey's sleeping pattern had almost fell into a schedule and so now she hoped that she could catch a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Suddenly the buzzer went off. Olivia hoped out of the couch immediately hoping that the sound did not wake Zoey. She looked at the small screen and she almost gasped seeing Dean's face. She buzzed him in without speaking. As she was waiting for him to come up, her heart was pounding like crazy, wondering what exactly did he want, and trying not to get her hopes, or her fears for that matter, too much up.

But nothing had prepared her for what came. She saw Dean bursting out of the elevator and towards her. She hadn't had time to say anything or move, before he grabbed her wrist roughly and pushed her inside the apartment.

"What the fuck Olivia? Why did you talk like that to my mother?" He hissed, still having a tight grasp on her wrist.

Overcoming her first surprise, Olivia shook her hand trying to break free.

" She had no right to come here like that. How dare you come to ask for an explanation from me? And let me go, you're hurting me" She said in an angry low voice, in fear of waking her daughter.

Dean moved his hand to her shoulder and shook her violently while his other hand remained clutched painfully firmly around her wrist.

" You upset her very much. I came home after two weeks away and all she could talk about was what a bitch you were to her! Damn it Olivia, you have no one to blame but yourself about this mess, and you are blaming my mother?" He almost yell as he shook her.

Olivia started feeling panicky. She had never seen him like this before. He was out of control, his face was red from the anger and he was breathing heavily. At this point, she had no idea what to expect next.

"Dean" she tried to sound calm but firm. "Let go of me, so as to sit down and discuss this as adults". No matter how angry she felt, how much wrong she knew what he said was, her main priority now was to regain control of her body and the situation.

" I don't have to discuss anything! You started this, you ruined everything, and now you are trying to drag my mother into this! I'm sick of you!" He yelled and before Olivia could contemplate what was happening, he let go of her shoulder and slapped her hard across her face.

Olivia let out a gasp both due to surprise and pain. She raised her other arm defensively while she tried once again to break free. But Dean was faster, and he grabbed her other hand too, leaving her totally exposed.

" You fucking manipulative bitch!" He growled and shook her hard again.

"Let go of me! Help!" Olivia shouted, as he let her hand again, she closed her eyes and braced herself for a blow that never came. Suddenly she felt him totally letting go of her

"You son of a bitch!" she heard someone saying and her heart dropped ten floors.

She didn't know if it was out of instinct but she had let the door open and Dean in his infuriating state hadn't notice.

And so someone, hearing their yells, had come to her rescue.

And that someone was none other, than Elliot Stabler.

_**Elliot is back! What is going to happen next?**_

**_Please review! your support until now had been more than amazing!_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thank you thank you everyone for the huge support, I hope it will continue to be this way!**_

_**Also, I need a trailer for the new SVU episode! Where is it?**_

_**Disclaimer: If they were mine, Elliot would have punched Dean a long time ago :P**_

* * *

Her surprise was so big that for a moment she completely forgot about Dean and his attack. But she was brought harshly back to reality when Elliot punched Dean hard at the jaw and sent him flying on the wall.

" I warned you bastard! I warned you to stay away! And you come here and assault her? I'm going to fucking kill you Porter!"

Olivia didn't move quickly enough and so Elliot landed another punch to Deans nose this time, who growled from the pain. For a brief moment Olivia contemplated to let Elliot have his way with Dean but then she thought better.

"Elliot, it's not worth it" She said firmly. Even thought she meant it, she was surprised to see that it was all it took for Elliot to let go of Dean, who rolled slightly down the wall, clutching his bleeding nose.

" I should arrest you for assault, you son of a bitch" he growled although.

Olivia moved forward and placed a hand on Elliot's arm. He seemed almost startled by the move and he stopped glaring at Dean to turn and look at her, panting. His expression was hard. But the moment his eyes met Olivia's, it soften.

She then turned and looked at Dean, who looked lost and almost afraid.

"Leave. And never come back" Her voice was calm but her look burnt wholes through him.

Stumbling slightly Dean rose and walked at the door without making eye contact. The moment the door closed behind him and they feel into an uneasy silence, Olivia thought that Elliot would be able to hear how fast her heart was going.

He was now avoiding her eyes, he was staring at the floor and although his breathing had eased, his body seemed tensed.

"You're back" Olivia stated after some minutes spent in utter silence. It seemed funny, she had thought so many times what she would say if she saw him again, but now she found difficult to even form a sentence.

"Yes" he just said, still looking at the floor.

"For good?"

"I guess so" his eyes always on the floor. For a second she was tempted to ask him what is so fucking interesting about her carpet, but instead she just bit her tongue.

"Are you back into my life?" she had to ask, she just had to. As much as her brain screamed no.

Eventually he raised his head and turned his eyes on her. She swallowed hard, trying to control the tears that were welling up on her eyelids.

"Do you want me to?" He asked that as if they were having a casual conversation about what to have for dinner. But nothing was casual about it, it never was, Olivia thought.

"More than anything." She managed to whisper.

He took a step closer to her. Olivia was now sure that her heart had jumped off her chest and started running in circles around the room.

She could almost feel his hot breath on her skin and his blue stare piercing her.

A cry was heard then from the bedroom and Olivia held back a disappointed sound. Elliot backed away from her just a few steps, looking as if he just woke up from litharge.

"I guess that's my cue." She said quietly with a small smile. She didn't wait for a reaction, she just turned her back and stepped fast towards the bedroom, where her daughter was lying on her crib, crying her lungs out. Olivia smiled and scooped her up to her arms and rocked her, rubbing circles on her small back. She hadn't noticed that Elliot had followed her and he was standing at the doorstep staring at her with a wide smile.

She turned to look at him and smiled too, with Zoe clutched on her chest, not crying anymore but letting out small sounds. Then she took in his expression better, he wasn't just smiling, but he was looking at her and her daughter with an affection that you could only find on a father's face. That sent shivers down her body, when she recalled what had took place just some minutes ago with Zoe's actual father. She looked down at her baby girl and felt actually sad that she had to go through life with her father not giving a damn about her. She had promised that she would try to make it up to her every single day, but at this moment it just didn't felt enough.

"She's beautiful Liv."

Lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard Elliot moving beside her. She smiled and placed a soft kiss to her daughter's head.

"She is, indeed" she replied, gazing at Zoey who was now leaning contently against her mother's chest.

She turned her gaze again to Elliot, and felt her insides melt a bit. The circumstances under they had met again were less than ideal, but he was there now, with a look in his eyes that spoke more than any words could.

They should talk, indeed, but now wasn't the time. Now it was just enough that he was there. It was more than enough. She placed her now sleeping daughter on the crib again and motioned for Elliot to follow her out of the room.

Once they were in the kitchen, she occupied herself with putting some plates on the dishwasher, when she heard Elliot's voice from behind her.

" Alex told me you named her Zoe Serena. That's a beautiful name Liv."

She turned surprised.

"You talked to Alex? When?"

"The night you gave birth. Fin had left some messages but… And then Alex called me and told me the situation you were in. I told her to call me again when you had the baby and tell me how it went."

He looked sheepish almost. He was avoiding her gaze leaning on the counter. Olivia opened her mouth, but no words came out, when she recalled the events of Zoe's birth, how terrified she was, how much she needed him to be there. She could understand why Alex avoided to tell her about her conversation with Elliot. This would only result on more fear and desperation from her side.

She rubbed her forehead and leaned on the counter too.

" I am not proud for this Liv, for not being there for you. No matter what had happened between us, I should have been there, I should…" his voice trailed off and shook his head, his eyes still plastered on the kitchen tiles.

"El, don't apologize. First of all, I didn't even know that I was going to give birth that day. I didn't even suspected it. Zoe came early. Secondly… I am the one that made you leave, I am the one that caused it all, I should be apologizing to you…" She stopped in order to take a deep breath wipe away some tears that had fallen on her cheeks. Elliot finally raised his head, in time to see her wiping away the tears. With two steps, he was in front of her, his hands on her arms.

" I should have stuck around. I should have claimed you harder." He whispered.

More tears escaped her eyelids.

"Stay with me tonight." She said quietly.

They stepped again onto the bedroom, their hands clutched tightly together. Olivia moved and pulled the blankets from the bed and sat on its edge. Elliot kicked out his shoes and sat beside her. Olivia crawled further and snuggled beneath the sheets. She turned and looked at Elliot expectantly, who needed no further invitation. He went and laid beside her. She turned around to face him and within seconds she was asleep.

She fell into an uneasy sleep, full of disturbing dreams. She hadn't gave her mind enough time to process everything that had happened this evening and now she found herself in a tangled mess of people who were yelling at her, at first they had no face but then , they all came and became one big, scary Dean who once again had her pinned against a wall, shouting at her. She was unable to move, Dean was oblivious to her pleadings and Elliot was nowhere to be seen. Somewhere from far away she heard Zoey crying

"Please, I need to get to her!" She pleaded once again, putting all her effort into pushing Dean away.

"You will never see her again! Never!" He yelled manically.

"No please! Let go off me!" she screamed.

"You ruined everything! YOU!" He yelled louder than ever and started shaking her.

"No! NO!"

Before she realized what was happening, she opened her eyes and everything was dark. She felt strong arms around her, for a moment she froze, thinking that the nightmare was real, but then Elliot's reassuring voice came to her ears like music.

"It's okay Liv. I've got you. It's okay"

She buried her face deep inside his warm and welcoming embrace and sobbed silently for some minutes. Elliot kept her into his arms, rubbing her back ,whispering sweet nonsense to her ear.

When her sobs subsided she gently pulled away from Elliot and out of the bed. She went and stood above Zoe's crib and looked at her baby daughter sleeping peacefully. After a minute, Elliot came and joined her.

"Where do we go from here El?" she asked him quietly, never taking her eyes from the sleeping form of her daughter.

His arm came to rest on the small of her back. She let her head drop on his shoulder. He leaned and placed a kiss on the top of her head, inhaling her scent, a mix of lavender, a sweet baby scent and something that was uniquely Olivia, and felt as if his heart filled with it too.

"Wherever we go, we go together Liv. Do you hear me? Together" He finally managed to whisper.

She lifted her head to face him and just like that his lips were on hers. It was a soft, loving kiss, unlike the ones they exchanged months ago, but the way their bodies collided, his hand moving behind her head brushing her soft brown locks, when hers was clutched firmly on his broad shoulders, while their tongues became a tangled mess, dancing ferociously into each other's mouths, no more words were needed, for the emotions that were running deep in this intimate moment.

For now, everything else, remained forgotten.

* * *

_**Elliot is back! Where do they go from here, really?**_

_**I must say, if think you saw it all, you are wrong! What is about to come, I'm pretty sure, no one would have imagined! **_

_**Don't forget to review! It always makes my smile so wide when I read what you think about the story! xoxo Kate**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16!**_

_**And a new SVU episode is coming tomorrow! I might see it on livestream again but I have to wake up kind of early the next day so I don't know :P. Here is 4 am local time when it's aired live on the US. I am a night owl but I also hate early mornings, so I might watch first thing when I wake up, just to make my day!**_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine, not now, not ever *BIG sigh***_

* * *

"You are the cutest thing ever, Zoey, you know that? Yeah, the most beautiful baby. And later you will be a total heartbreaker. Boys will line up at your door. But no one will get closer than ten feet. Otherwise, I will show them that special bone-breaking technique I learned on the Marines…"

Olivia tried to muffle the laugh that escape her lips with the pillow, while Elliot continued to talk in a small baby voice to Zoey, who was responding in happy gurgling sounds.

Olivia opened a sleepy eye to see Elliot standing in the middle of the room with Zoe in his arms.

"If she's anything like me, you're in for big trouble if you ever try to do that" she said jokingly raising her body a bit from the bed.

Elliot turned to look at her and smiled.

" I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you" He said stepping closer to the bed and leaning to give Olivia a small peck on the lips, which she returned happily. She then turned her attention to Zoey and extracted her carefully from Elliot's hands.

"Good morning sweetheart" she cooed at the baby who looked at her with big brown eyes. She brought her closer to her chest and unbuttoned her top so as Zoey could nurse. A moment later the baby had latched happily on Olivia's breast. Olivia smiled and run her finger through Zoey's soft cheek.

Elliot walked round the bed and came to lay beside her. He sat silent just gazing at Olivia and her baby daughter.

"What?" Olivia asked quietly, shooting him a smile. He shrugged.

" I just like watching you."

After burping her, Olivia held Zoey on her shoulder. She then leaned closer to Elliot who opened his arms and so Olivia snuggled contently in his warm embrace. She closed her eyes, and just let herself be calm and relaxed and happy with such a simple thing, such as her baby daughter sleeping peacefully against her chest and the arms of the man she loved, around her.

It was so pure and so simple but yet so strong and suddenly Olivia couldn't help but think that she wouldn't mind if this was her reality from now on. Just she, Elliot and Zoey. A family.

A family.

When the word registered totally in Olivia's brain, her eyes were immediately shot open and she nearly let out a small gasp. Elliot noticed the change in her body language.

"What's wrong Liv?" He mumbled, placing a soft peck on her head.

"Ah, nothing, I just really could use a shower right now" she chuckled and stood up.

"Fine, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me" He stood up grabbing the baby monitor.

Olivia watched him silently as he walked outside of the room. She then moved to place a sleeping Zoey back to her crib and went to the bathroom where she started taking off her clothes. She opened the tub and let the hot steam fill the small bathroom. She got under the water and stood there with closed eyes, as if she expected for the water to wash away all her fears and doubts.

Half an hour later, she was about to get out of the bathroom, when she heard the doorbell, then footsteps and then an all-familiar voice.

"Elliot? What the…"

"Baby in the house Alex, watch your tongue"

Olivia cursed under her breath. With everything that went on the past week, she hadn't had the chance to talk to Alex, since her friend's schedule had been crazy too.

"You're back? Since when?"

"About a week now"

"And you've been here the whole week?"

There was some silent, which only meant that Elliot had nodded affirmatively, because a moment later she heard Alex's surprised voice again.

"A week? What the…"

"Language Alex"

"Oh bite me Elliot. Where's Liv?" Alex scoffed.

"She's having a shower. Wait for her here, because Zoey is sleeping in the bedroom. She was particularly cranky last night…"

"For God's shake." Alex muttered.

Olivia sighed and emerged from the bathroom. She tried to dress as quickly as possible, because she was sure that her friend will rip her a new one, for sure.

She made her way to the kitchen, where Elliot was going around, placing plates on the selves and Alex was sitting at the table, looking at him with an expression of mock confusion. The moment she spotted Olivia at the doorframe, she raised her eyebrows.

"Ok so what did I miss? Are you guys married now?"

Olivia almost dropped the glass she was holding but Elliot chuckled.

"Alex! I mean… no not…I mean…" Olivia stammered.

"Ok so why don't you two go grab a coffee and catch up for some hours. Me and Zoey will be fine" Elliot said and winked.

Before Olivia had time to open her mouth and respond, Alex had dragged her to the door and almost thrown her coat on her.

"Of course, come on Liv" She said and pushed the door open. Olivia only managed to shrug and smile at Elliot who was still chuckling lightly.

When they got out of the building and on the street, after riding the elevator in silence, Alex turned to Olivia with a mischievous smile.

"You are going to tell me everything, Detective. I mean it"

Olivia couldn't help but smile back.

"Doesn't look like I have another choice."

Half an hour and a hot tea later, Olivia had filled Alex into everything. The DA had now a wide smile plastered on her face.

" Liv, I am really really happy for you! Finally!"

Olivia chuckled softly at her friend's enthusiasm. But then, her mind travelled at this morning, and the fear that took over her, on the thought of she, Elliot and Zoey as a family. Her smile dropped and she moved to hold the cup of tea tight into her hands. Alex sensed her friend's tension.

"Liv, what is it?" She said softly. Olivia responded with silence and Alex sighed. "You can tell me. You'll feel better" she encouraged her.

Olivia shook her head and let out a small laugh.

"How am I going to do this Alex? I don't know the first thing about being in a relationship like this, especially with Zoey in the middle… She deserves the best and I am willing to give it to her but I am afraid I am going to screw up, if I haven't already…"

"Liv…" Alex's voice spoke with a quiet, serious voice. " The night you gave birth to Zoey, I ride the ambulance with you and her. You were so pale and everyone was yelling that you were losing so much blood, and I was holding Zoe tight into my arms and all I could think of, was that I didn't want to have to fulfill my promise to you so soon. If something happened, I would have taken her as my own for sure, but it would be so wrong for her not to get to meet the wonderful person her mother is."

She leaned closer to Olivia who was staring at her with a faint smile.

"Grab your chance Liv. Don't let happiness slip away from you. Life is too damn small for those kinds of hesitations. We see that in our line of work every single day" She continued with a reassuring smile.

She unlocked the door of the apartment to be welcomed by the sound of Elliot talking to Zoey again. She looked up and saw him standing in the middle of the living room with her daughter in his arms, who was staring at him with an amused look. The sight melt away, even the last doubt Olivia had. Elliot stopped talking and turned to greet her.

"Hey. Did you have a good time?"

Olivia didn't answer, she just stood there, staring at them with a warm smile. Elliot frowned slightly.

"Everything ok Liv?"

She took a deep breath.

"So, here's the thing." She started saying and Elliot looked at her with confusion. She smiled again and went on.

" I will probably burn the kitchen down if I try to cook something more than eggs, and I almost run out of clean clothes of Zoey the first week, because I kept forgetting to wash them. I spent my freaking entire childhood wondering what is so wrong with me and no one loved me, and then half my adult life alone and married to a job that was constantly showing me this world's darkest face. I had almost lost my faith, but then Zoe came. And then… you came, again, and I got my faith back in freaking big amounts… So the thing is…" She took some steps to Elliot who was listening to her with a huge grin.

"… I may never be domestic, and I will always be a city girl, I don't know the first thing about being in a serious relationship, but I _do_ know that I love you. I love you and Zoey more than anything. And that's enough for me."

Her warm chocolate eyes, met his blue crystal ones, and with no further hesitation, Elliot leaned and kissed Olivia deeply in the lips, Zoe firmly clutched in the middle of them. They broke apart a moment later and Elliot looked intently into Olivia's eyes, sending shivers down her spine

"It's more than enough for me." He whispered.

_Six months later_

"Are you sure about this Liv?"

Olivia nodded with a determine look, to Elliot.

"I have every right to do this and I don't see why he won't sign the papers."

"Even though, they had to be approved by a judge."

"We'll do our best Elliot. I want this to be over."

"Liv…"

She raised her hands and cupped his face.

"You are the only father Zoey had known and will know. I will tell her the truth when she is old enough to understand. But for now…"

She gave one last look at the paper in front of her and then put her sign on the bottom.

"Dean never wanted this, he made no effort whatsoever to contact us again so I'm sure that signing a piece of paper that takes the whole responsibility off his back, will only relieve him, I'm sure."

Elliot leaned and placed a reassuring hand on her waist, while he kissed her forehead softly.

" I will never let you down Liv, I promise. I feel so honored that you're considering me Zoey's father."

Olivia's lips curved to a small smile as she gazed down at her daughter, who was playing quietly in her playpen. She turned to look up and smiled toothlessly in her mother, letting out a happy squeal.

Olivia leaned and took her up in her lap. Zoey buried her head in her mother's chest contently.

"Hey sweet-pie. Mommy and Daddy love you so much" she cooed between placing pecks to her daughter's soft hair. She felt Elliot's hand around her waist, pulling her into his warm embrace.

Α few days later, Dean Porter exited the building of the FBI central in New York earlier than usual, not able to put up anymore with some of his coworkers dirty looks.

On his hand, firmly between his fingers, was clutched the file that contained the form of the Voluntary termination of his parental rights, that his secretary handed to him this morning. He had seen it coming, but his anger towards Olivia was still running big, and so he carelessly tossed it on one corner of his desk, totally exposed to anyone who entered his office.

It took only one noisy coworker, and soon enough the whole building knew what a lousy father, or a person in general, was, that he had his parental rights to a child that its existence never mentioned to anyone, terminated. Talk about the gossip of the day.

Although they did not mention anything out loud, their stares of disapproval were enough. So without any word, Dean left the office, making sure to slam the door loudly behind him.

He emerged into the first open bar at his way. An hour later, he stepped out stumbling. He wasn't sober but not too drunk either. He wasn't drunk enough to have completely forgotten the mess he landed himself into. He walked carefully and slowly on the street as the sun was beginning to set. He was feeling a sense of guilt rushing through his body but he couldn't exactly place it. His thoughts run to Olivia and without realizing he took the way towards her apartment.

He stopped and gazed at it from across the street. And suddenly Olivia walked outside, chatting with someone on her cell. She looked so damn happy and so damn beautiful and Dean wasn't sure if he was jealous or angry or sad or maybe all those things together. Then he remembered the forms into his hands and the humiliation at the office and decided that anger was dominating.

"That's it, Liv baby" he muttered to himself as he crossed the street and started walking a few feet behind her, trying not to be seen.

"We are at the end of the line Liv, whether you like it or not" he kept going behind her, his eyes always at her face which was so lighted from joy while she was talking cheerfully on her cell.

**Brace yourselves, something big is about to come!** _**What do you think it's going to **_**_happen? Take a guess but I am pretty sure, you would be surprised!  
_**

**_Until next time review, review, review! _**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17! Thank you everyone for your reviews, and guesses :P Well some of you got bits and pieces but... :P **_

_**Also, just a small note, while I was writing this chapter, the song "Skyfall" by Adele got me so inspired! If you feel like it, try and play it while you are reading it! I added a few of the lyrics in the end, I thought it suited it :)**_

_**And just some ramble for SVU: A car crash AND a bomb on the next episode? I CAN'T WAIT! I tried to see on livestream the last one, but the quality was poor, so I watched it the next morning instead. But this week, I'll give it a try again, I think this **_**_episode is going to be SO GOOD! Especially if I don't have to wake for college the next day...:P I think it will be worth it!_**

**_Disclaimer: Haven't we gone through this? Nooope, not mine people!_**

* * *

"Thanks again Maureen for doing this"

Olivia said walking towards the living room, putting a pair of earrings on. The girl smiled from where she was standing, with Zoey in her lap.

"It's nothing Liv, really. Zoey is adorable, I love spending time with her."

Olivia moved closer to them and placed a small peck on Zoey's head.

"Did your father tell you anything? The only thing I know is that he called an hour ago, telling me to put on something nice and to meet him on Battery park, beside the Hudson and that you'll be taking care of Zoe"

"Honestly I have no idea, but if Battery Park is my Dad's idea for a romantic walk or dinner, this time of the year, Liv…" Maureen said jokingly and Olivia

"Well, I'll just wait and see, then" she said as she put on her coat and leaned to take Zoey from Maureen's arms.

"I love you sweet-pie, have a good time with Maureen" she cooed, placing raspberries on Zoey's little tummy, which caused her to burst in giggles.

Olivia smiled one last time at her and placed her down on her playpen.

"See you later Liv, have a good time" Maureen said as Olivia was getting out of the apartment.

She was about to open the front door of her building, when her phone buzzed. She smiled widely as she saw Elliot's name on the screen.

"Hello stranger"

"_Are you on your way? I am about to leave the precinct"_

"Yeah I just left the house. Are you still not telling me what all this, is about?"

"_Nope. It's a surprise"_

"Oooh I see."

They kept chatting for a bit, while Olivia was walking towards the point where they were going to meet. She was so absorbed with their conversation, that she didn't notice Dean walking carefully a few feet behind her, his expression getting darker and darker every time he heard Olivia laughing to the person she was talking on the phone with, whom he guessed was most probably Elliot. Dean felt his blood boiling.

* * *

Elliot hung up the phone and stared at it with a huge grin. He then put it in his pocket and proceed on putting his coat on and finally get out of the precinct.

"What's that smile for Stabler?" Fin asked raising an eyebrow.

Elliot just shrugged and with his coat now on, he moved towards the exit.

"It's Liv right?" He heard Fin saying and turned to see him, smiling mischievously.

"It's always Liv" Elliot just offered smiling and left.

When he was out of the precinct and in the safety of the crowded street, he moved his hand on his right pocket, took something out, looked at it for a moment, then he put it back in an started walking, smiling even wider than before.

* * *

Olivia gazed at the river, holding her coat tight around her. The weather was cold, and a strong wind blew, making the river flow rapidly. Olivia rubbed her hands together and thought that Elliot must have had a very good reason to want to meet there in such a cold and windy day.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't feel the presence of another person, until one hand was placed in her back. Thinking that it was Elliot, she turned to greet him with a huge smile, which only faded a second after, when she came face to face with Dean.

"What, not happy to see me Liv? You used to be…" he said sarcastically, his hand still on her shoulder.

Olivia pulled on a disgusted face. He was clearly quite drunk and obviously he had somehow followed her there.

"Dean get the hell away from me, now." She pulled away from him, taking a few steps back.

His sarcastic smile disappeared immediately, and it was replaced with an expression of pure anger.

"Get the hell away from you? Why don't you get the hell away from me? Why are you continuing to make my life a living hell?"

"Dean you are not making any sense. We'll talk again when you'll sober up" Olivia shook her head disapprovingly and turned to walk away while in the meantime she was reaching for her phone in order to call Elliot.

"Fucking hell Olivia, we will talk NOW!" He yelled and pushed her, causing her to lose her balance and drop her purse and cellphone on the street.

"Get your hands off me, I won't repeat it Dean!" she hissed

"Why do you have to keep humiliating me, huh Olivia?" He yelled, his face only inches away from hers.

"I have no idea what you are talking about" she answered confused.

Elliot kept walking, with the smile still plastered on his face. In ten minutes he would be with Olivia and he would tell her… The ring of his cellphone interrupted his thoughts, but the smile remained when he saw Olivia's name on the screen.

"I'm almost there baby." He picked it up and said. But instead of hearing Olivia's beautiful voice, he heard a man yelling, and his heart dropped when he recognized the voice.

"Porter." He hissed and begun to run.

"Don't play dump Olivia. Why did you send those fucking forms at my office?" he waved the termination papers in front of her face.

"Because I didn't have any other address available! They informed me that you moved out from your apartment and that left me with no other choice! I don't understand why are you so mad about it! Just sign them and you won't hear from me never again, I can promise that" she spat angrily.

"Someone saw them and now the whole fucking office knows! Do you know what damage will that do to my reputation, my job?"

The cellphone still clutched on his hand, Elliot run frantically, pushing through people, totally ignoring their angry protests. He had a very bad feeling about this…

"Well I don't really care Dean. You should have thought that before… everything" Olivia's voice was cold and her stare firm. Dean panted hard and took some steps towards her.

"You destroyed me Olivia! Do you hear me? You destroyed me! You fucked up my life, and now my job and you just stand there looking at me like this?" there was a desperation in his tone.

"How did I destroy you?You wanna talk about it? So let's talk! You acted like some fucking teenager, leaving me pregnant and alone, as if everything that there was ever between us was a one night stand! But I accepted the asshole that you were and went on with my life, trying to do my best for my daughter, our daughter. And then you show up again, you almost beat me up, and when I'm giving you the one thing that you are asking for, you are accusing me of destroying you? You brought it all on yourself Dean." She said firmly shaking her head.

Elliot kept running, more fast that he had ever run in his life. He was almost there…. Almost there….. He dove into the road, running past moving cars, hearing their brakes screeching, inches before hitting him and then the drivers swearing at him.

"You want me to sign those papers so you can go on with your perfect life with Elliot Stabler, while mine is ruined! My mother won't even speak to me and I don't know if I will ever be able to even walk around my office without having people talking behind my back…. I hate you Olivia, do you hear me? I hate you!" Dean yelled and pushed her hard on the chest, causing her to stumble backwards.

Olivia felt the iron banister brushing her back. She momentary lost her balance but she found control again and turned to Dean, feeling anger boiling inside of her.

"Are you out of your mind?I said don't you fucking touch me!" She yelled and raised her hand, only to land a moment later, a strong punch on his nose. Dean's eyes went wide open.

"FUCKING BITCH!"

He was almost out of breath, his chest was killing him, but he didn't slow down. He could see two people standing in front of the banister, he could see her, yelling at him…his heart skirted… He was there, nothing was going to happen….

The next blow came out of nowhere. Dean shoved her so hard, she felt her upper body hanging from the banister above the flowing river, she tried to hold onto something, but her hand found nothing…

And then, all hell broke loose.

_This is the end_  
_Hold your breath and count to ten_  
_Feel the earth move and then_  
_Hear my heart burst again_

_For this is the end_  
_I've drowned and dreamed this moment_  
_So overdue, I owe them_  
_Swept away, I'm stolen_

* * *

_**You see what is coming, right? Or **_**_don't you? :P_**

**_Also I really hope that I got the location right! I have never been in New York (*sigh*) but I saw a picture of a spot on Battery Park, just in front of the Hudson and I thought it was perfect..._**

**_ Until next time...review!_**


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18!**_

_**I hope that you will enjoy this chapter, it was kind of difficult to write... =D**_

_**About last night's SVU episode, I was kind of **_**_disappointed when nothing too dramatic happened with the bomb... As for the car crash... they got us totally fooled there! :P All I can say is that I can't wait for the 300th episode! Yay!_**

**_Disclaimer: If I owned them, Liv would have punched Dean Porter sooo hard on Spooked! Lol =D_**

* * *

Everything happened so fast.

One moment Olivia was facing a confused, angry Dean and the next, there was nothing, just a grey sky and the dark waters of the river.

Elliot didn't realize the loud yell he let out while he watched Olivia's body falling into the river. The next thing he knew was that he started running frantically towards the point she fell, only to stop dead on his feet, a moment later.

To his utter surprise and confusion, he watched Dean climbing the banister and diving into the river behind Olivia.

"What the hell?" he thought, panic rising bigger and bigger inside of him every second that passed.

He rushed to the banister, to watch in horror, Olivia and Dean being drifted rapidly away.

He started running again, along with the river, knowing that jumping into the river at this moment too, wasn't going to do any good.

"Help! Somebody help!" He yelled frantically trying to summon the attention of people that might be passing by, but the street was practically empty.

Olivia tried to swim, tried in some way to control her body but it was next to impossible. The currents of the river were just too strong. The water was splashing to her face with force, making her choke and cough violently. She tried to shout but she was too frightened to even make a sound.

"Olivia!"

With the corner of her eye, she saw the movement beside her and a moment later, Dean appeared on her eyesight, coughing and trying to fight with the waves too.

"Liv!"

The second voice, made her gather all her strength to look above her, only to see a frantic Elliot, running in parallel with the river.

"There is a point some meters away that the currents are not that strong! I am going to jump in and get you out!"

"What? No…" Olivia somehow found her voice. More horror and panic filled her in the prospect of Elliot jumping into the dangerous river too.

"I'm coming Liv! Hold on there!" Elliot shouted. His lungs were burning, his chest was hurting, he was scared senseless but he kept running, his eyes never leaving Olivia, who kept fighting with the currents.

Olivia was getting more tired by every second that passed, but she forced herself to keep trying, keep fighting, not to let those damn currents win. The fact that she was wearing coat, made more difficult to move.

"Olivia…"

She saw Dean a few meters beside her, fighting too, to stay at the surface. He shouted her name again, trying to move against the powerful waters to reach her.

"Olivia…" his voice was filled with despair.

Olivia felt her eyelids getting heavy, her whole body was hurting from the great effort to stay on the surface. Elliot's voice from above, who was yelling her to hold on, started to sound distant. Suddenly, she felt a pair of arms around her.

"I got you. It's ok Liv" she heard Dean's voice in her ear.

Besides all her tiredness pain and despair, Olivia couldn't help but think that it had been a very long time since Dean had called her Liv. Even when they where together, he preferred calling her by her full name, instead of the nickname, Elliot had given her so many years ago.

With one arm around her, Dean tried to swim towards the deck that had appeared some meters ahead of them.

Elliot run towards it and with frantic movements took off his coat and jacket. He took one deep breath and dove into the cold river.

Dean spotted him and tried to swim towards him. Olivia spotted him too, but she felt it was impossible to hold her eyes open any longer.

"Liv hold on!" she heard Dean's frantic plead.

She felt her body going limp into his arms

"I'm sorry Liv!" was the last thing she heard before she surrendered into darkness.

The currents brought Dean and Olivia close to Elliot who swam quickly the last meters that were separating them.

"Take…her…" Dean's voice was tired and his breath swallow.

Elliot secured Olivia's unconscious body into his arms and turned to see in horror, a huge branch that the currents were moving towards them fast. His eyes met with Dean's in a moment of despair. Elliot was surprised to find on them, not fear, but determination. His heart started beating faster, as the branch was getting closer and closer to them

"Go" Dean said

With one last look to Dean, Elliot started swimming quickly back to the deck, with Olivia clutched firmly on his arms. He turned around for one last moment to see Dean trying to follow him, but also to see the branch only centimeters away from him. He turned quickly to climb back up to the deck, but not before he heard Dean speaking.

"I hope the baby has her eyes"

Taking a deep breath, he climbed the last few stares of the deck, and when Olivia was placed securely on the wooden surface, he looked again on the water. Dean was nowhere to be seen and the huge branch was floating a few meters away from the deck.

He didn't leave his mind, analyze what had just probably happened, because Olivia was lying unconscious but still alive, beneath him.

With the corner of his eye, he spotted some people running closer to them.

"Call 911!" he shouted with the little might he was left of.

He gazed down at Olivia, taking deep swallow breaths and cupped her pale face into her hands.

"Stay with me Liv." He whispered, leaning to kiss her cold skin.

With quick movements, he freed her from her soaking coat and wrapped her with his own dry one. He then scooped her up into his arms and walked away from the deck and closer to the street, hearing the siren of an ambulance getting closer and closer.

He held Olivia's head close to the crook of his neck and placed another soft kiss on her wet hair. He didn't let himself wonder of the "what ifs". Olivia was alive and she was going to stay alive period. And that's all that mattered at the moment.

* * *

Her whole body felt sore and heavy. She was hearing muffling sounds that she couldn't make out what they were, but after some seconds, she realized that it was a constant beeping. With her eyes still closed, she tried to understand where she was. She was lying on something comfortable but despite the fact that she felt that she was wearing clothes, she started shivering a bit. And then she felt it. There was a hand holding tight hers, a warm soft big hand.

"Elliot" she managed to mumble and open her eyes a bit.

She felt his grip going tighter.

"Liv? Open your eyes baby. I'm here right here. Come on, let me see those beautiful eyes."

Elliot's voice sounded soft and tender but she also traced fear and sorrow on it. She sifted slowly her head and opened her eyes some more. There he was sitting beside what seemed to be her bed, in what seemed to be hospital scrubs.

She searched hard in her mind to understand why she might be at the hospital, and why Elliot was wearing scrubs.

And then it came all floating back, her meeting with Elliot, Dean showing up. She remembered the moment she fell into the cold, dark river and her heart skirted. She recalled the desperation and the fear that had overcame her and she held into Elliot's hand tighter.

"El? What happened?" she asked with a scratchy voice. She saw him moving closer, leaning above her to stroke her face with his free hand.

"It's ok Liv. You're going to be ok" He whispered with a soft voice, looking at her with deep affection.

"Why on earth are you on scrubs?"

"I jump into the river to get you out."

"What?" She tried to sit up, only to let out a yelp of pain. She laid back down and looked at Elliot.

"Why would you do that El? Dean was there too, he could get me out, I mean he wasn't actually trying to drown me. Yes he is a jackass and I will rip him a new one when I see him, but he helped me…Elliot?"

The whole time, she was talking, Elliot was swaying uncomfortably into his chair. Olivia eyed him curiously.

"Elliot? Where is Dean? Is he in another room? Don't tell me you punched him again? I wouldn't blame you but…"

"Liv…" Elliot interrupted her. There was an awkward pause. "Dean… Dean is dead Liv."

She blinked sometimes in confusion.

"What? How?"

Elliot stared at her with a darken expression.

"You reached a deck and I dove in to pull you out. Dean handed you to me and I started swimming back to the deck. He was following me, but then a huge branch came rapidly towards us. I managed to climb back up but Dean… didn't. He was too tired and the current too strong and…. When they took him out it was too late."

Olivia stared down trying to let his words register.

"So he is dead." She said flatly after a minute in silence.

"Yes."

"I…." she shook her head and let out a bitter laugh. "I don't know how to feel." Elliot leaned forward again.

"No one expects you to feel a certain way Liv. What happened between you two, was complicated. Let it sink in, but don't feel bad if you are not sad about it."

Olivia shook her head again. She tried to search inside her for something, pain, relief, something. But she was a bit surprised when she came out with nothing. She thought that maybe she would be relieved, even happy.

"I am not happy. But I am not sad either. And I think that's the extend of it." She said honestly

Whatever his motives were for doing everything he did to her, even his last action of trying and saving her, she wasn't going to analyze it again and again. She had received a lot of pain in her life, she had gone through life for a long time, feeling that love and happiness just wasn't for her. But then she had found them, she had found them both, in the faces of Elliot and Zoey, and Alex and every one of her friends.

Enough is enough, she thought and turned to look at Elliot with a big smile.

"I love you. You and Zoey are my whole life. The only thing I want now is to go home to my family. Oh and a new coat, because the one I was wearing was my favorite and I suspect it's totally ruined now."

Elliot let out a laugh and brought her hand on his lips and kissed it.

"You'll be able to go home tomorrow. You have hypothermia from the cold and the doctors want to monitor you overnight. As for the coat, I will buy you a new one, as well as shoes and a dress, because they are also kind of ruined now."

Olivia let out a small groan.

"Great" she mumbled. She looked at Elliot and patted the space beside her.

"Come lay here with me. Keep me warm so that my temperature will go up so as to leave this place soon."

Elliot laughed but complied.

And as they were snuggling together in the small hospital bed, Olivia's head buried on the crook of his neck and his hand wrapped tight around her small waist, he eyed his coat that was laying on the chair he was sitting before. He gazed at the small bulge on the pocket, forming by the small velvet box inside it. They had time, he thought, they had nothing but time. He would wait for the right moment.

His eyes travelled back to Olivia, whose breathing had calmed and she had fallen back to sleep.

"I love you Olivia Benson. And _you will _become my wife" he mumbled before, falling into a peaceful sleep himself.

_**There are only a few chapters left...maybe two... I am not sure yet.**_

_**It was kind of difficult to write about Liv's feelings over Dean's death because, I was trying to put **_**_myself on her position, trying to understand how she might feel, and I came out with nothing. She can't be happy for someone's death, especially the father of her child, even if the term father in that case is kind of...:P And she can't be sad either, especially after he almost caused her own death. _**

**_Anyway it's kind of complicated I guess. What do you think about it?_**

**_Leave a review, tell me what youthink!_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19! one more chapter left... =D**_

_**SVU rambling moment: I saw the trailer of the 300th episode and I was like "WHY ISN'T WEDNESDAY ALREADY?" Also SVU reached 300th episodes, yeahyy!**_

_**So this chapter is a **_**_little different from the rest, it is consisted of small shots, with moments and events of Olivia's, Elliot's and Zoey's life. Also there would be lapses on time between every shot. ALSO! there is some M context here... you have been warned =DDD_**

**_I kind of wrote that chapter at 4 am in the morning ,so please forgive any stupid mistakes!_**

**_Disclaimer: Nope, not mine, but for once it's kind of okay, because SVU reached 300 episodes!_**

* * *

"Take it easy Liv."

"I'm fine Elliot, I just wanna see my baby. "

Olivia walked slowly the last steps towards the door of her apartment with Elliot beside her, his arm wrapped around her waist. They had to take the stairs, because the elevator was broken, and with Olivia still sore, they made their way up really slowly. Elliot had suggested carrying her, only to meet Olivia's death glare. And now that they were almost at the door, Olivia was vibrating with anticipation to see her daughter.

Elliot took out the keys and unlocked the door. Olivia rushed inside, totally ignoring the pain that shoot through her body, and searched the apartment with her eyes.

"Zoey? Where are you baby?"

Alex, appeared from the hallway that led to the bedroom, with Zoey in her arms, who let out a cheerful squeal at the sight of her mommy. Olivia hurried to them and took Zoe from Alex's arms. She lift her up, blowing raspberry kisses on her little tummy, which made the baby squeal louder.

"Oh God, sweet-pie, I missed you so much, mommy missed you" She mumbled, bringing Zoey to her chest, where her daughter buried her head contently on the crook of her mom's neck.

Olivia then ,turned her attention to Alex and smiled.

"Thank you so much for taking care of her. I hope that she didn't give you any trouble."

"None at all. She is the most easy-going baby, I've ever met. How are you Liv?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

"Sore, but I'll be fine" she nodded appreciatively by her friend's concern.

"Come on Liv. Get Zoey and lie down for a while." Elliot came and lead her on the couch, where Olivia lie down, with Zoey lying on her chest. Alex came and sat on a chair beside them.

"Liv. I heard about Dean. I… I don't know what to say. About everything."

Olivia allowed a small smile and gently brushed with her hand, her daughter's soft chocolate hair.

"So do I Alex. So do I."

Later this evening, Elliot opened the door of the nursery and smiled at the sight of Olivia sitting at the rocking chair, nursing Zoe. He walked quietly inside the room and went to stand above her. He run a finger on Olivia's hair and then on Zoey's soft rosy cheek.

When Olivia finished nursing Zoe, she rocked her for a few minutes until she was fast asleep. She then placed her softly back on her crib and remained to watch her silently for a few minutes. Elliot moved beside her and wrapped his arms around her. He then noticed some tears running down her face.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter?" He asked softly.

" There was a moment in the river when I thought that I wasn't going to make it, and my mind travelled to Zoey and you and… how I wasn't going to see her or you again…" Olivia tried to hold back a silent sob.

"Liv…" Elliot stared at her teary chocolate eyes with seriousness. "You are here, I am here, Zoey's here, and nobody's going anywhere. Look, I've been trying to find the perfect way to say this… I told you to meet me at Battery Park yesterday because that's where you first told me that you are feeling whole, that you are a part of a family, during our walks there over the summer with Zoey. So I thought, this is the perfect place. But after yesterday, all I was thinking was that no matter where, no matter when, you, Zoey and me, are a family and that's the only thing, that _really _matters. So I am asking you now…"

With a grin, Elliot retrieved from his pocket, a black velvet box. Olivia remained watching him speechless, as he opened the box to reveal a beautiful, elegant, diamond ring. He then proceed to kneeled before her.

"You may rip me a new one, for being so cheesy, but I don't care. Olivia Benson, will you marry me?" He asked, tears threatening to fall from his eyelids.

Olivia stayed quiet for only a second, before she fell onto her knees too, and wrapped her arms around Elliot, planting a passionate kiss on his lips, which he responded eagerly.

"Yes, yes, a million times yes!" She said, almost out of breath, continuing to place small kisses on Elliot's lips.

Elliot lifted himself up and helped Olivia on her feet too. He took her hand and placed the ring on her finger. Olivia then threw herself onto his arms again and soon enough they were wrapped onto another passionate and very hot kiss.

"I guess we have to seal the deal now" Elliot mumbled, while placing soft pecks on Olivia's neck. She let out a moan and wrapped her legs around Elliot's waist.

"Make love to me El" She whispered and Elliot needed no further invitation. He quietly carried her out of the nursery where Zoey continued to sleep peacefully and into their bedroom, where they made love, all night long.

* * *

" I can't believe we are actually married" Elliot said breathlessly, leaving a trail of kisses along Olivia's bare chest and breasts.

"I know. It took us almost two months to organize everything up, along with dealing with work… but we're here now" Olivia mumbled, letting out a soft moan, as Elliot had gone south, now gently rubbing and licking the outside of her folds. His mouth left her for some seconds, only to caress and place kisses on the inside of her thighs. Olivia felt her back arching, as Elliot proceeded to place one finger inside of her and a loud moan of pleasure escaped her lips.

"Fuck El… I need you… inside me…" she managed to say between hard breaths.

Elliot felt his cock growing even harder, hearing those words. He took his finger out of inside her and moved up to place himself upon her entrance. Olivia felt his throbbing cock and shivered with anticipation.

"Are you ready to consummate this marriage" Elliot whispered, sucking her earlobe.

"What are you waiting for?" Olivia whispered back. He entered her with one slow but hard thrust. A loud moan escaped her lips and wrapped her legs around his waist to make him go even deeper inside of her.

He started moving slowly at first, moaning too, at her wetness and tightness. Olivia started thrusting her hips upward to accommodate his thrusts. They moved in unison and after some minutes, Olivia felt a familiar warmness rising up her stomach.

"Oh, I'm gonna come El…." She moaned, feeling her orgasm coming closer and closer.

"Me too baby, me too" Elliot growled and made his thrusts, faster and deeper. Olivia gasped and dag her nails onto her back as a powerful orgasm took over her body. Feeling her tightening around him, Elliot couldn't hold back any longer and let his own orgasm rode him too. They finished together and Elliot fell breathlessly on Olivia.

"That was amazing." She said panting, burying her head on the crook of his neck. Elliot moved beside her and stared at her with his blue eyes sparkling.

"You are mine. Forever." He said and looked at her intently. Olivia trailed her hand along his cheek.

" I had always been yours. From the very first moment" she said quietly. They sat in silence for some minutes, just staring adoringly at each other. Then Olivia, moved softly to straddle him and started placing hot kisses on his broad chest. Elliot groaned feeling his cock getting hard immediately.

"Ready for round two?" Olivia purred into his ear. Elliot answered with thrusting upwards softly, burying himself inside of her. Olivia moaned softly into his ear and began moving up and down slowly.

"Mine. Always and forever" Elliot growled and pushed her on her back and proceed making love to her.

* * *

"Hey. Everything okay?" Elliot leaned above her desk with a concerned look.

"Ah, yeah, just you know… it was a tough case" Olivia replied, rubbing her forehead, trying to release the tension of the day.

"Everything okay with Fin?"

"Of course El. Fin's great."

"But he's not me."  
"Cocky aren't we?"

Elliot grinned and caressed Olivia's cheek with his fingers.

"Cases like this make me think of Zoey… God, I can't wait to get out of here and go home, be with her, play with her, give her a bath, get her to bed…" Olivia said, her fingers trailing on a picture of Zoey, herself and Elliot, taken on Zoey's birthday.

"I can't believe she's one already. One year! So many things happened during that year…"

"So many good things" Elliot said gently. Olivia nodded, staring at the picture with a smile. She then turned and looked at him with a strange look on her face.

"Hey El? I know we haven't talked about it much, and I don't know how you feel about this…"

"Feel about what Liv?" He asked gazing smilingly down at her.

"How you feel about having another baby." She said quietly after some moments of hesitation. When he didn't answer immediately, she went on. "Look I guess, it might be too much for you, I mean you already have five more kids to take care of, and Zoey's little, but I am not getting any younger, and I have finally everything that I could ever ask for, so I was thinking, it wouldn't hurt to try... Only if you want of course, because it would be totally okay if you didn't…"

"Liv. I would love to have another baby with you. To get to be there this time around for the whole thing, from the very beginning…"

Olivia lifted her head to find Elliot looking at her with love and affection. She stood up and wrapped her arms around him, not caring that they were in the middle of the precinct.

"So we're trying?" she asked, not able to hold back a huge smile.

"You better, stop taking those birth control pills, because, yes, we're trying" Elliot said and planted a kiss on her lips, which she responded with pleasure.

"Get a room you people. The cribs are up there, if you haven't already christened them" Munch said as he passed by.

Liv and Elliot broke apart and they both smiled at Munch.

"Oh we did. As well as some desks in here, wanna guess whose?" Elliot said and they both burst out laughing as Munched choked on his coffee and stood up from his desk and as far away as possible from it as if it was on fire.

* * *

Elliot shifted on the bed and moved his hand on Olivia's side only to find it cold and empty. He opened his eyes and scanned the room. Olivia wasn't there. He suddenly heard a small sound from the bathroom. He raised his body from the bed and opened the light at his nightstand.

"Liv?" he asked confused. A small sound was heard again from the bathroom and now Elliot managed to make out that it sounded like a sob. He quickly rose from the bed but stopped dead on his feet when he spotted a red stain on the sheets.

"Liv? Baby are you ok?" he said panic rising up his throat as he moved again, making quickly his way to the bathroom. He opened the door and the sight in front of him, made his heart crash into a million pieces.

Olivia was sitting on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, her knees brought on her chest and her head buried in her lap, while her whole body was shaking with silent sobs. Around her, on the cold tiles, there was a small pool of blood. She lifted her head and looked at Elliot with tear-strained eyes.

"I… I think I miscarried El…" she managed to say before started sobbing again.

Elliot rushed to her side and pulled her into his arms, ignoring the blood that was now staining his pajama pants. Olivia buried her face onto his lap and cried.

"Sh… it's okay Liv, I've got you… It's okay, everything is going to be ok honey… We… we have to get you to a hospital Liv"

"Zoey… what about Zoey….?" Olivia said between sobs.

"We'll call Alex, it's going to be fine Liv… Now let's get you to the bed and wait for Alex there…" Elliot tried to sound calm, but it was the last thing he felt. Olivia shook her head negatively.

"Please don't make me move… Call her and come back here… I don't wanna move yet…" she whispered

Elliot nodded, placed a kiss on Olivia's soft hair and stood up. A minute later he came back into the bathroom, sat down on the floor again and pulled Olivia back on his lap, and started rocking her smoothly, whispering words of comfort at her.

Fifteen minutes later, he heard a key on the door and a voice whispering.

"Guys?"

"In the bathroom Alex." Elliot said trying to keep his voice down so as not to wake up Zoey. Olivia shifted into his lap. She had stopped crying a few minutes ago, but Elliot sensed that she was in a lot of pain, but when he has asked her, he had only met with silence.

The bathroom door opened slowly, and Alex appeared. When she took one look on the sight in front of her, she had to hold back her own sobs. Olivia was curled on Elliot's lap with her eyes shut, while he was rocking her softly. There was blood on the tiles and onto their clothes.

Elliot looked up on her and nodded appreciatively. He then turned back to Olivia.

"Liv Alex is here. I'm going to carry you to the car now, so as to get to the hospital as soon as possible." He was met with silence again and turned his attention back to Alex.

"Could you please pass me the coat from the chair?"

Alex nodded and rushed to get the coat to him. He stood up, with Olivia scooped up on his arms and with one hand, wrapped the coat around her shivering figure.

Alex followed them at the door of the apartment, where she held a supportive hand onto Elliot's back, before she closed the door behind them.

* * *

"Mommy, mommy look! Dolly's bath time too!"

Olivia smiled as she lifted her sleeves to proceed on washing Zoe's soft brown locks.

"Yeah sweet-pie. Your dolly is having a bath too." She said with a cheery voice as she washed her daughter's hair.

When bath time was over, Olivia lifted Zoey up and wrapped a fluffy pink towel around the toddler. She gently dried her and then pulled her into a hug.

"Mommy loves you so much Zoey. You are mommy's little pumpkin" She said taking big whiffs of her daughter's flowery shampoo.

"How are my favorite girls doing?"

"Daddy!" Zoey squealed with excitement at the sight of Elliot entering the bathroom with a huge grin. Olivia turned and smiled warmly at him too. Elliot stepped closer and pulled them both into a hug.

Later that night, Olivia turned on the bed to come face to face with Elliot. She eyed him intently as he let his hand run down her soft cheek.

"Talk to me Liv, tell me what's bothering you." He mumbled looking at her with affection.

"I was so scared, and so sad, when I lost our baby El. I really wanted to have another child with you but I'm scared. What if it happens again?"

"That's why you started taking the pill again?" Elliot asked and sighed when Olivia nodded.

"Liv, I told you, I want to have another baby with you. We'll just have to keep trying. And whatever happens, I promise you, I'll be there for you, I'll always be there for you and Zoey. Please don't be scared."

A small smile crept on Olivia's lips.

"So… are we gonna try again?" she asked cautiously.

"Whenever you feel ready. I can't wait to have another little baby running around, a little brother or sister for Zoey to boss around." He smiled as he heard Olivia's hearty laugh.

"What about now?" she whispered into his ear as she straddled him. Elliot responded with catching her lips onto a passionate kiss.

* * *

Olivia exited the building with a huge smile on her face. She took out her cellphone and dialed Elliot's number. She started walking down the street while she waited for him to pick up.

"Hey El. Guess what? We did it!"

A few minutes later, Elliot hung up the phone at the precinct, with a big grin. He turned to Fin and Munch, who were sitting at their desks, pretending that they were working and not eavesdropping on Elliot and Olivia's conversation.

"Hey guys, guess what. Olivia's pregnant!"

Without a word, Fin took out fifty bucks from his wallet and handed them to Munch, who took them without moving a muscle.

"Really guys? Where you betting on us? Thanks a lot. Wait until Liv hears of that."

"I said within a month, when you said you started trying again, Fin said two." Munch said grinning like a Cheshire cat behind his dark glasses.

" You got some super sperm there, Stabler" Fin growled.

* * *

Olivia shifted on the bed trying to find a comfortable position. Seven months into her pregnancy, she had just gone into maternity leave, and was already bored to death. The door of the room opened, and a small head popped inside. Olivia smiled.

"Hey there sweet-pie. Here, come to mommy." She said and patted the bed beside her. Zoey run and climbed onto the bed and snuggled at her mother's side.

"Whose birthday is tomorrow? My Zoey's!" she cooed placing small kisses onto her daughter's head. Zoey let out a laugh and placed her small hands on her mother's swollen belly.

"Baby bwother in here." She said admiringly

"Yes baby, that's your baby brother, right here" she said and lead Zoe's hand on her side, where the baby kicked her hard. Zoe let out a surprised gasp and Olivia laughed.

"Baby bwother my pwesent?" she asked excitedly.

"Your baby brother is a present for all of us, sweet-pie. You have other presents waiting for you and only you tomorrow. Plus we have to wait for another two months for your brother to arrive."

Zoey smiled and snuggled against Olivia again, contently.

* * *

"God I feel ready to pop up."

"Doctor said any day now, Liv."

"Any day is a long time, in my time zone at the moment Elliot."

Elliot chuckled and pressed the elevator button. The doors closed and the elevator started moving, only to stop a moment later. The lights flickered and suddenly everything went dark.

"Fuck" Olivia muttered under her breath.

"It's okay, we'll be out soon" Elliot tried to reassured her and pressed the emergency button twice. A few minutes were passed in silence, when Olivia gasped.

"Oh God, I can't believe this."

"Liv, we'll be out in a minute just…"

"No, no Elliot you don't understand! My waters just broke!"

"Fuck!"

"My sentiments exactly…oh shit! A contraction!"

"Liv, try and breathe we'll be out of here soon!"

"Elliot I swear to God, if I have to give birth in here, I'm going to kick you so hard on the balls…."

"But this isn't my fault!"

"It is! You got me pregnant on the first place!"

"Where's that damn button? Help! Anybody hear me?"

* * *

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Breathe Liv, in and out, in and out…"

"I know that Elliot! Oh God can I have an epidural now?"

"It's still early baby, come on try and relax, at least we are not into the elevator any more…"

"Ooohhh!"

Olivia grabbed Elliot's hand and squeezed it hard, as another contraction kicked in. When it was over, she fall back into the bed, panting hard.

"I can't… believe… I agreed to… do… this…again! I had forgot how much it hurt!" she whimpered. Elliot leaned and rubbed her forehead.

"Come on Liv, soon… We'll get to meet our boy so soon…"

_A few hours later_

"Come on Olivia push again!"

Olivia pushed hard, letting out a loud yell.

"The head is crowning Olivia you're almost there!" The doctor said. "On the next contraction, I want one big push" he coached.

Olivia felt the pain overcoming her and pushed, almost crashing Elliot's hand into hers.

"The head is out, now the shoulders, come on, you can do this Olivia!" The doctor said reassuringly.

"It's okay Liv, you're almost there!" Elliot said

Olivia felt the contraction coming and pushed again

"Ohhhh I am never doing this again, do you hear me Stabler?" she yelled.

"One more big push and you'll meet your son Olivia!" the doctor said.

Olivia concentrated, held Elliot's hand tight onto hers and pushed with her eyes shut firmly, only to open them a moment later, when she heard her son's cries.

The doctor smiling placed the crying infant on Olivia's arms

"Congratulations on your healthy baby boy, Olivia and Elliot. Will you cut the cord, daddy?"

Elliot nodded and cut the cord with a huge grin. She gazed down on Olivia who was holding their son, looking so happy, tears staining her face. A smiling nurse came and took him, to return him some minutes later, wrapped in a blue blanket. She placed again the bundle on Olivia's arms. The baby opened his eyelids and looked up at his parents with a pair of blue eyes, so similar to his father's. Elliot leaned down, not able to form a word from the emotion, and placed a kiss on Olivia's forehead and then one more on her lips.

"Welcome to the world, Eric James Stabler" Olivia cooed to the now sleeping baby.

* * *

A month later, Elliot opened the door of Zoe's new room on their new apartment, to smile with joy at the sight in front of him. Curled on Zoey's small bed was Olivia with Eric in her arms and Zoey snuggled on her side. Olivia spotted him and motioned him for him to come over.

She then moved further into the bed to make room for him. Elliot laid down taking Zoey into his lap, while he wrapped an arm around Olivia and Eric.

Olivia started then humming an old lullaby, one that her mother used to sing to her at her good days, even when she was older, than Zoey was at the moment.

After some minutes, Elliot watched as both Eric and Zoey fell asleep. Olivia then leaned her head on him and closed her eyes too, the old lullaby still playing on her head.

Outside of their apartment, New York City was sleeping, but inside, on this little bed, was sleeping her entire world.

_Every farthing of the cost,_

_All the dreaded cards foretell,_

_Shall be paid, but from this night_

_Not a whisper, not a thought,_

_Not a kiss nor look be lost._

* * *

_**What will the last part of this story be? =D **_

_**Do not forget to review! I appreciate the support you showed me guys! It's been amazing! Love you all xoxo kate**__  
_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Here we are, at the last chapter of this story. I would like to thank each and every one of you, who read, reviewed, favored etc this story. Your support meant truly, the world to me**  
_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine but one day... A girl can dream right? *sigh***_

* * *

_Eleven years later_

"_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_Just like the ones I used to know…"_

"Eric, bring my pencil back now!"

Olivia sighed and turned down the volume of the radio.

"Eric I won't say it again!"

She lifted her head from the preparations of dinner and looked at Elliot who was placing the dishes on the kitchen table. He shrugged and gave her a small smile. Olivia sighed again and emerged from the kitchen.

"What's going on here?"

Both her kids turn their attention at her with similar frustrated expressions.

"He took my pencil!" Zoey said angrily from the spot she was sitting on the floor beside the Christmas tree, with several blank papers spread in front of her.

"I just took one, she has so many." Eric exclaimed innocently from where he stood a few feet away.

"Yeah and I need them all!"

"Okay, okay, stop now both of you. Eric give the pencil back to Zoey and apologize." Olivia said firmly but gently. Eric huffed but walked back to Zoe and gave her the pencil, which she accepted with a frown.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

"That's nice. So dinner will be ready in a while okay?" Olivia said smiling, and went back into the kitchen, where Elliot was done with the table and had continued preparing the salad, Olivia had left in the middle.

"Everything okay?" he asked lifting his head to look at her.

"For now." She said going closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder. He let out a small laugh and placed a small peck on her soft brown hair. Olivia smiled too but then a sound like something was dropped was heard from the living room and then angry yells.

"You are an idiot! Look what you've done!"

"I didn't do it on purpose! It just dropped!"

"You dropped it on purpose!"

Olivia and Elliot exchanged a look and they both emerged from the kitchen this time.

"Ok, what now?" Elliot said

"He dropped water on my drawing on purpose!" Zoey yelled, now standing upright, her lower lip trembling and her eyes filled with tears.

"I said I didn't do it on purpose!" Eric yelled too.

"Of course you did it on purpose! You are an idiot! I hate you!" Zoe spat.

"I'm not an idiot, don't call me that!" Eric spat back and run out of the living room.

"Zoey, don't call your brother an idiot." Elliot said sternly moving closer.

"Of course you will take his side! And you don't get to tell me what to do! You are not my father!" She almost screamed and run out of the room too.

Elliot stopped dead on his feet at Zoe's comment. Olivia felt her heart sinking. She stepped behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"El…"

"It's fine, it's okay, I understand…"

"Let me talk to her ok?" Olivia said and squeezed his arm as she walked away.

She went and stood outside Zoe's room. She could hear soft sobs from the inside. She took a deep breath, knocked on the door one time and opened.

Zoey was curled on her bed, her face buried in her pillow. Her small frame was shaking with sobs. Olivia went and sat at the edge of the bed beside her. She placed her hand on her daughter's back and rubbed it gently.

"Leave me alone." Came Zoe's muffled voice from where her face was buried in the pillow.

"Honey please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Olivia said softly, still caressing her daughter's back.

After a minute, Zoe's sobs subsided and she turned to look at her mother, still curled on the bed.

"Did my father ever loved me?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Olivia felt her heart sank even deeper, but she knew she had to be honest with her daughter.

"Honey, your father wasn't ready for you. When he found out I was pregnant, he got scared, and went away. But Elliot was there for me from the very first minute, he was your dad from almost the minute I told him I was pregnant. Don't doubt your dad's love, Zoey, because he loves you so very much."

"But he didn't got you pregnant, he is not my father, like he is Eric's. How can he love me the same as him?" Zoe said with sorrow in her voice.

Olivia placed her hand on Zoe's cheek and wiped away some of her tears.

"Biology has nothing to do with love Zoe. Your dad loves you and Eric the same. You have to believe me when I say, that biology does not stand a chance in front of love. You are his little girl and will always be. You said "dada" even before you said "mama". " Olivia said with a smile, and a small smile started forming on Zoe's face. "Although, don't tell him I admitted that." She added and Zoe let out a small laugh, making Olivia smile wider.

"I liked the song that was playing on the radio, before you turned it off. "White Christmas, wasn't it?" Zoe said after some minutes in silence.

Olivia nodded, while she was caressing Zoe's soft brown locks. Even though Eric beside his blue eyes and some other features he had inherited from Elliot, he still looked a lot like her, Zoe was the spitting image of her mother. Every year that passed by, she was looking more and more like Olivia.

"Yes it was. I like that song too."

"You used to sing it to me when I was little." Zoe mumbled

"I did. My mother sang it to me too, when I was little."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"You never met your father, didn't you?" Zoe asked hesitantly. Olivia smiled sadly.

"No honey I didn't."

"You were alone with your mom? You didn't have a dad, like I have Elliot?"

"Yeah baby, my mother raised me alone and it was very difficult for her. That's why I felt so lucky to have Elliot."

"Mom, did you love your mother?"

Olivia looked down to her daughter's big brown eyes, so similar to hers and her mind travelled to her mother and how, unlike she and Zoe looked so alike, she and Serena looked so different.

"Yes Zoey." She said after a small pause. " I loved my mother, and she loved me too, very much."

They got out of the room a few minutes later, and went back to the living room, where Elliot was sitting on the couch with Eric beside him. Once he spotted his sister, he looked at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry I dropped water on your drawing. I didn't mean to." He said quietly.

Zoe smiled and walked at the couch, where she sat between Elliot and Eric.

"It's okay, you didn't do it on purpose. And I'm sorry too. You're not and idiot and I don't hate you." She said and Eric smiled back. She then turned at Elliot. She stared at him for a second and then she threw her arms around him. Elliot looked startled for only a second, before he wrapped his arms around her tightly too.

"I'm so sorry, dad. You have to know, I love you so much." she said, her face buried on the crook of his neck.

"I love you too, honey. So very much." Elliot said, rubbing her back.

Olivia smiled at the sight of dad and daughter hugging.

"Okay dinner is ready. Come on everyone on the table!" she said happily then and everyone stood up and followed her at the kitchen.

Later that night, Olivia was snuggled contently at Elliot's naked broad chest.

"Everything ok with Zoey?" he mumbled, between placing soft kisses on her hair.

"Yes. Look El…"

"Liv shhh. Zoey is my daughter in every way that matters. And that's all."

"Okay." Olivia said quietly.

Elliot hugged her naked body more tightly against his.

"We did goo Liv. We love each other, we have our kids, we are healthy and at the end of the day, that's all that matters."

"True. Well, it took us some time but we got there." Olivia said and Elliot laughed quietly.

"It was worth the waiting, though." He said and looked down at her warm chocolate eyes, the ones he had fell in love with, so many years ago, and now, he was still looking at them and his heart was melting.

"Yes. It was definitely worth the waiting." Olivia said emotion trailing from her voice. She kissed him again softly and then closed her eyes and fell asleep on his lap, thinking of her family. Yes, everything was good.

_** THE END  
**_

* * *

_**So here it is, the end of my story... . I want you to forgive me for any grammatical or spelling mistakes, I tried my best, but still I know that there will be some things :P.**_

_****__**I know that I tortured you with the EO love but I'd like to think that it was worth the waiting! Even though in real life a happy ending is not always the case, I truly love giving happy endings at my stories. I think that people should always seek happiness, or at least look at the bright sides of life as much as possible. Me myself, I love that I have the power to give a happy ending at a story, hoping and knowing that it would make readers happy too, it would make them smile.**_

_****__**I wrote this story during a weird and difficult period of my life, and it was a way for me to cope with things. it was my refuge after a difficult day. And it was truly moving for me to know that you people liked it. Every time I read a review, I was smiling so widely!**_

_****__**Stay tuned, because there is another, maybe two other stories on the way... I hope that I will upload during the month!**_

_****__**Sooo for one last time, review, tell me what you thought of the ending, of the story overall, I'd love to hear, from **_**_everyone that will read this, if it is possible!_**

**_Thank you so very much and I love you all! xoxoxo Kate._**


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